Just diagnosed

lego_chap

what a crap year so far

went for a colonoscopy and after much poking around and prodding etc, got the news that there is an abnormal area seen in the sigmoid colon..

Feeling very numb and emotinal now, trying to make sense of it all.
Its affecting my sleep, I am so stressed at work I have been making silly mistakes , which when spoken about makes me feel worse.

CT scan this week and then a couple of weeks later appointment at the clinic.

Loads of worries as I have been with the firm for less than a year that if I am off for 6 weeks no sick pay and have a mortgage etc..

Its been a shit year and this has capped it off

any advice

determinedjoan

Not at all surprised to hear you’re not sleeping well atm; gd you’ve got a date now & hv met Anaethetist etc. Wishing u all the v best of luck with the op; a new job can wait until you’re feeling recovered . Love 💗 & hugs 🤗 :x:

Gypsy

Dear @lego_chap , it will get better once the operation is over and done with. We'll all be supporting you and cheering you on! :x::x:

greyhound gal

Hi @lego_chap, you just have to believe that you’re behaving normally! We all get frightened and scared about the future, some are just better at covering it up!!
It’s great that it’s not too long until your operation. Take care of yourself, Wendy :x::x:

Baxter2

Great to see the date for op is pretty soon @lego_chap. As @Gypsy says, I'm sure things will feel a little better once that's done and dusted and you can start your recovery! One step at a time is usually the best way at this stage.

We're all here for you either on main forum or you can pm any of us.

Lots of love and very best wishes

Karen💛💚❤️💙💜

lilmil

Just wanted to say hi and welcome. Sorry to read you are struggling at work with it all. All i can say is once treatment starts you'll feel like you have regained some control of your life again.
Sending positive vibes your way. Hugs. 🤗💙💖

Hans

@lego_chap Hi there !! Sorry you find yourself here!! But this is a forum full of very supportive and kind people. The treatments are good with bowel cancer despite them being severe. My bruv had this and is now back at work with his stoma and is cancer clear.
Also for my wife - she had quite a bad bowel cancer and now is clear = but emotionally it takes it out of you. I am the one who took the emotional hit out of both of them!! My boss was very understanding and I was able to adapt my work around appointments etc. I kept working through though as it was better for me emotionally.
Have a great day
Hans

lego_chap

Hello All.

so a week later and now on the slow journey to recovery..

I had my Op on the !st and the day was scary to say the least, what with the air conditioning breaking down prior to my op and having to wait till the theatre got warm enough, being sent back up stairs then 2 hrs later in I went..

to having a major melt down minutes before going under the knife, the enormity of what was going to happen, to what they might find, etc etc..

Then the realisation that from the cleaners all the way to the man ( my surgeon) who I consider as Gods right hand man, as he has cut me open removed a 7cm tumour , cut my lower bowel , re joined it all , and then stapled me up again, people have been there to get me through surgery and I will be eternally grateful.

I had week in Hospital and apart from 24hrs when I was pretty ill , the stay was brilliant, I must have walked miles up and down the corridor trying to "wake up" my bowel , even when the worry of it wasn't working and i was in floods of tears , the comforting shoulder of a nurse was there in an instant.. and I have had a poop !!!!

I cannot believe that my surgeon came in on Sat night , off duty to check on me and did an ultra sound and told me what was happening and what we needed to do .. I was blown away.. He even saw me after rounds last week had a prod and poke told the ward nurse to remove my drain, and in his words.. "Go Home " ...

I feel so humble and I owe a debt of gratitude of those women and men of the NHS who have looked after me from the second I was diagnosed with bowel cancer

The journey is not over, there is a long way to go , mentally Im still fragile, but real men are not afraid to cry, i know ill get there , I have had time to look at my life and stress , long hours are no long er for me as life is for living and as I have a young daughter , id rather spend time with her.

Thanks to all those who reached out from this forum.. it will be my time soon enough to play it forward..

Gypsy

Dear @lego_chap , what a lovely post- and brought a tear to the eye. Well done, you! You have done so fantastically well and an amazing difference from your early posts. You've had the surgery; you've come through despite all your fears- fantastic achievement. Of course the NHS are great but you're pretty amazing yourself. Gently does it now as you continue to recover- sending you a gentle hug and big pat on the shoulder too for how you have coped and are coping. Yes, I think most are mentally frail at some stage or other (I was the world's worst) but the great thing is on here, we can be fragile together and give encouragement and kindness to keep one another up.
Love and hugs, Gypsyxx

greyhound gal

Wow @lego_chap! Like @Gypsy has said, the difference in your post today to previous ones is amazing. Well done you, you should feel proud of yourself 👍
You will get there, there will still be fears and upsets but now you know you can get through it! And we’re always here for the good, the bad (and the ugly!! - sorry, I couldn’t resist it!!). We support each other, Wendy :x::x:

Bear G

So glad to read it’s gone so well and you’ve had such good care. Great that you’re home, relax now and enjoy your steady recovery. Take it easy and remember to be kind to yourself.
Big hugs
Bear
:x::x:

EssexDan

Well done @lego_chap . Take it easy and have a good weekend.

bettebette

Good to hear your news @lego_chap 😊
Best wishes for a continuing good recovery.

Lizalou

A great update @lego_chap , I bet you feel so much better tucked up in your own bed!

Yes, it's amazing what we can do, when we have no choice. I still remember my middle of the night hysterics and the kindness of the nurse who brought me chocolate icecream!

And, like you, my surgeon visited me on his day off....we are so lucky to have such caring professionals.

Onward and upward..... :x::x:

determinedjoan

V well done 👍 u @lego_chap !
Congratulations! Proud of u !
Wish u a full & steady recovery; b kind to urself. Take care, love 💗, hugs 🤗 & healing vibes :x:

cyclingjohnny

fantastic post, hope you are enjoying being home with your family,wishing you a speedy recovery, all the best, john. :x::x:

jj

What a positive post @lego_chap . You have come through that barrier and we all can see you are stronger and positive now. Now take it easy and enjoy spending time with young daughter.
Yes I think most of us have had positive experiences with the NHS even when things didn’t go to plan. I have to say the NHS National Screening for Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm and for Bowel Cancer has saved my husband, and both his surgeon’s have been very very supportive. Yes his CRC surgeon visited my husband everyday and on the weekend too, even if it was just to say hi and check his results. 3cheers for our NHS, Hip hip hooray👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

lego_chap

Three weeks down the line..

Jesus mother of mary and the staple extraction was .. how you say OUCHY.. it took 5 local injections and gas and air to get the dam things out .. I almost punched one of the nurses as I have never felt pain like it .. so 24 staples out and i still have nightmares over the noise through the fog of gas and air as they snapped .. never again

So the results on the tumour ( 7 cm) , and the resulting 53 lymph nodes removed , Im down for chemo, oncology appointment on the 7th..thats the next step , i did try to get info on chemo but the surgeon says each person reacts differently .. so not sure what to expect.

There is one nagging thought, as a person who's brain never shuts off, how does one get through the fear of .. it could come back ? I am focusing on the future, but some days i hit that wall and I get that thought running around my head .. I know i have gone through " brutal surgery ( surgeons words not mine) " but those who have been on this road how did you deal with it? or was it more a I'll deal with it again if it turns up ?

Oh as I'm bloody impatient did everyone wait the 6 weeks before you started driving again .. and i need to start running too ..

Sasa

Hi @lego_chap , in answer to your question, I guess everyone muddles through really, but I know my hubby deals with it by thinking that we are all going to die, but that he has been ‘put on notice’ whereas those without cancer haven’t. Then it is just a matter of coming to terms with the possibility of life not mapping out the way he expected, coupled with the lack of time to do the things he always expected to be doing. If that makes sense.... so the dieing bit has been discarded as we all need to face this inevitability.

Hope that helps a bit, and makes sense!

You will become more accepting of your new direction in life though as time passes. 🙂

Sarah :x:

greyhound gal

Hi @lego_chap, sounds like your staple removal wasn’t without issues!! Mine didn’t hurt. I’m sure they like to remove them normally at 2 weeks cos they’ll be a bit more embedded otherwise! And maybe more painful?

Unless your surgeon and insurance company are happy with it, I would say you shouldn’t drive for at least the first 6 weeks. I even went to 8 weeks. You need to be able to do an emergency stop without the worry of damaging/ripping open your wound. Don’t forget there’s lots of layers that have to knit together (lots and lots of layers with my tummy, lol)

And the fear? I’m sure it’ll always be there, it’s only been 6 months, but I’m determined to not let it stop me in my tracks! I’m going to take on board the many great snippets of advice on this forum. I’ve ‘liked’ lots of hints from @Gypsy. @Bear G, and there’s a whole thread which @cdnico started asking “how do people cope...” which is worth a look at👍

Onwards and upwards, Wendy :x::x:

Baxter2

Hi @lego_chap

Delighted to read your post and see you're now 3 weeks on from surgery! Yes, the staple removal is pretty nippy.....I remember that well!

There's probably no easy answer to the question of fear of recurrence. We all have different ways of coping (or not!) I guess? I struggled enormously when my cancer metastasised and I'm not ashamed to admit I really did hit rock bottom and had just about completely given up. The stern words of a close friend was the turning point for me.

Personally, I've found mindfulness and meditation pretty useful, 1:1 counselling at Maggies centre and anti-depressants. Other ways to help me cope are seeing good friends and the ongoing support of family/friends is absolutely invaluable as is the support of those also affected by bowel cancer either on the forum and Fb groups. I've recently attended my third residential course run by Penny Brohn (cancer charity) which is absolutely invaluable too. (Check it out online) So I guess from all of the above, I have utilised many strategies to help along the way. Some may be worth trying and others not.

Sending loads of love as you continue with your recovery

Karen💛💜💚💙❤️