Just Diagnosed

stillpaul

Facing up to it

Morning all
I have just had my diagnosis confirmed-I have rectal cancer, a 3.4cm tumour. I also have two, small, tumours on my liver, from the rectal tumour. I am due to see the oncologist on Monday and the plan is 3 months chemotherapy and then hopefully surgery. One to remove the rectal tumour and then a second on the liver. I am in a good frame of mind, physically fit and well supported by family, friends and work. I am just working my way through all the advice and support and what will work for me. I am trying to stop myself from over googling and searching the net and I find it really hard to face up to the idea that this could end my life. I have two daughters aged 11 and 17 and I have to survive this for them and for my wife. This forum might be a good place for me to get that support and maybe when I have processed all of this be helpful to others. :x:

Baxter2

Good morning @stillpaul and welcome to the forum! I hope you’ll find this a safe and supportive place where you will gain lots of information, shared experiences, advice if you want it and friendship too!

I’m so sorry you’ve been diagnosed with this disease and that you’ve had to find us! The early days and weeks are probably one of the worst to get through as you struggle to process the news and what it all means for you and your family. It is scary, surreal and often very frightening for many and I remember it well. However, one you get your treatment plan in place and get going, somehow things become a little more manageable.

It’s to your advantage that you’re otherwise fit and health and have a great attitude toward the challenge ahead. There are many positive stories on here to inspire you too. I hope you stick around and let us know how you’re getting on?

Sending all my very best wishes,

K????❤️

Polly 1

Hi and welcome @stillpaul sorry you have to join us but honestly this is a brilliant forum full of information and support. Anything you want to know just ask - someone on here will have 'been there, done that'.
If you are like me when hubby was diagnosed I knew nothing about any sort of cancer let alone bowel. Now I know a lot more so try and help where I can.
You probably already know but if you click on our names most people have kept a record of their treatments etc so you can read them. Also to search just use the magnifying glass at the top.
Please let us know how things are going on. Once you start chemo there are lots of hints and tips on here to help.
All the best :x:

mem

Hello @stillpaul and another warm welcome from me too.
Perhaps to save you googling at this stage, I have attached two of our booklets for you to read if you would like. There are more booklets available under 'publications and fact sheets' and If there any questions you may have, please ask away.
As Baxter2 and Polly 1 says, there are many positive experiences of dealing and living with a bowel cancer diagnosis on this forum, so try to remain hopeful.
Sending love you to you and your family and welcome again to a very supportive and understanding group. xx

www.beatingbowelcancer.org/...owel-Cancer-Treatment-Pathway.pdf

www.beatingbowelcancer.org/...ating-Metastases_compressed-1.pdf

Lizalou

And welcome from me too @stillpaul

Baxter and Polly (and now mem)have given great advice and support so I will just remind you to discuss everything with your wife as you will need to support each other. As the patient myself, I eventually realised that the supportive partner gets the worse deal! But she would be welcome on the forum too and there is a 'closed' relatives section.

My husband and I managed to downplay the whole thing for our young adult children and they have been fine about the whole thing so I hope yours are too.

Don't forget to take a pen and paper with you for your next appointment, plus an extra pair of ears. Hope it all goes well and keep us updated. :x:

stillpaul

Thank you so much and good advice. I think it has just really started to hit my wife. She has spent the last two weeks being strong and practical. We have a wonderful relationship and we are very open. But I think you are right, she is carrying so much but I am still fit and well to take care if her too. We are making sure we are planning our normal nights out and still playing together. I will point her in the direction of this website and forum. :x:

charleyb

@stillpaul my husband was diagnosed July last year as stage 4, rectal cancer with 1 large lung met. After 6 cycles of chemo both sites shrunk by over half, read my profile and you will see the full journey we have been on. He has also had two lots of surgery and will have more chemo. He is now termed as cancer free, we are by no means out of the woods, but we are in a much better place than we started!! So please do not lose sight of hope. Once your plan is in place and you are in treatment you will adopt a new normal. You can do this so stay strong, which i know is so very hard in the first throws of diagnosis. Sending you lots of strength. Your wife may like to join the relatives section. :x::x::x:

Stillme

Hi @stillpaul I had my results yesterday post op which came as a huge shock so I am with you on the initial fear and shock. My husband too doesn't know how to cope and I can see the fear in his eyes as he turns to me for guidance on how to act. Definitely talk through your fears as many times as is good for you and as much as you can, plan for your next few months ie trips out and away etc as something good to focus on :x::x:

stillpaul

Thank you for your warm reply and helpful advice and attachments.

Quote from @mem:
Hello @stillpaul and another warm welcome from me too.
Perhaps to save you googling at this stage, I have attached two of our booklets for you to read if you would like. There are more booklets available under 'publications and fact sheets' and If there any questions you may have, please ask away.
As Baxter2 and Polly 1 says, there are many positive experiences of dealing and living with a bowel cancer diagnosis on this forum, so try to remain hopeful.
Sending love you to you and your family and welcome again to a very supportive and understanding group. xx

www.beatingbowelcancer.org/...owel-Cancer-Treatment-Pathway.pdf

www.beatingbowelcancer.org/...ating-Metastases_compressed-1.pdf

springer michelle

Glad you have found us @stillpaul, you sound very positive which will serve you very well. Don't Google, and look at statistics. Stay with us, you will be pleased you found us, I couldn't have done my journey without This forum. Read people's profiles, you can beat this :x::x:

John2628

Hi @stillpaul lots of advice and support on this forum. The first advice I received was stay clear of Google. It’s guaranteed to scare and shock you with fake and outdated stats from in some cases a decade ago, and of course things are advancing by the day now.
Best of luck, you’ll find people on this forum who are truly inspirational. They certainly inspire me at times when I need inspiring. Take good care of yourself :x:

stillpaul

Thank you John

1234annie

Hi @stillpaul
It's a shock isn't it!! Your fine one minuite and not the next. I have two kids 12 & 9, I feel so sorry for them but I'm sure they are stronger. We've always talked openly about my cancer, it's the best way. I hope your treatment goes smoothly. I managed 11 sessions of chemo before I had to stop and I didn't find it too bad.
Big Hugs Annie :x: