Just Diagnosed


Still in shock and struggling

Hi, You all seem a friendly bunch so I felt it was time I introduced myself. I'm a 39 year old mum, I had issues in 2017 but thought it was IBS and was also given laxido, bloods were then taken and my GP decided to refer for a colonoscopy. This was done on the 28th Dec and I found out I had rectal cancer! It's all moved quite quick and I'm awaiting chemoradiotherapy now. I feel so guilty for not knowing despite realising many of us don't have all the symptoms. Pre colonoscopy I loved my life, I have horses and a Pomeranian dog, fantastic kids and a job I loved. Isn't it crazy how this can turn everything in your world upside down. Sending love and best wishes to all :x:

springer michelle

Welcome here @kitti. This is the tough bit. Once your trestment starts it gets easier, you just get on with it. we are all here to help with your journey, so strap yourself in and we are there beside you. I had chemoradiotherapy and it really wasn't too bad. Good luck :x::x:


Hi @kitti sorry to hear your news - it is really tough when you first find out that you’ve got cancer. However, as this forum shows, there is life beyond your diagnosis and treatment. What is amazing is that ‘normal life’ does in fact continue despite everything. Many of us have got through the treatment and returned to everyday life even though we initially thought we wouldn’t. Thinking of you lots - posting on here is a great idea as others keep you going through the hard times


Hi @kitti sorry you find yourself here but this really is a fantastic forum! My husband was diagnosed last July, also 39yrs old. We have two little boys 1.5yrs and 3.5yrs. He unfortunately had a lung met so was instantly stage 4, and like you had no real symptoms. Please do not feel guilty, this disease has a way of hiding itself well. Just to put it in perspective my husband took part in a trial 6 weeks prior to diagnosis, and he was the healthy control!!! His lung capacity was above average, and he had a 5cm tumour in the left lung. The early days are horrible, the not knowing what is happening, but i promise that once you start treatment you will feel better. My husbands treatment all worked brilliantly, and he has since had two lots of surgery and is now cancer free, so please keep hold of hope. Sending you lots of love and strength. :x::x::x::x:


Hi@kitti , I feel know what you mean about feeling guilty not realising something wasn’t right. I had started a new job and had increased frequency and loose motions. Thought was anxiety, and then just got use to new pattern. Again thought was IBS and chopped and changed my diet with no real effect. Was not loosing weight and only a year later when started to pass blood did I think better see GP. He didn’t hang around and now I know more from visiting this site and forum know I should have been going to GP a year ago. I have had my radiotherapy and now to have my surgery in just over a week. I found this forum great to get an understanding of everything colorectal! Can be addictive!! :x::x::x::x:


Hello @kitti please don't feel guilty, I was diagnosed aged 36 when I was pregnant. I too didn't have any symptoms until later in my pregnancy but then found out it was stage 4. The never to young campaign will hopefully help younger people get diagnosed earlier but you need to have some symptoms to start with. I hope you find this group useful and supportive. There is lots of information sharing too which is useful. Best wishes for your treatment. :x::x:


Good morning @kitti and a warm welcome to the forum from me too! I’m sure you’ll find this a friendly and supportive place where you will gain lots of information and shared experiences from others.

Please don’t beat yourself up about what you may have missed. I think it’s a natural thing to go soul searching for reasons, missed opportunities and possible signs and symptoms. This is one heck of a sneaky disease and has caught so many of us out without a doubt! I’m sure Christmas time was a real challenge for you with all of this going on!

The great thing is, things are moving quickly now and that often feels good knowing that something is being done to tackle the disease. I’m sure you’ll here from many patients and relatives on here who are not only young like you, but have had a similar diagnosis. There are also a number of really useful downloadable leaflets and booklets which you may find interesting especially in preparation for Hospital consultations.

Sending all my very best wishes to you and look forward to seeing nice pics of your horses and dog one day on here!



Hi@kitti, and welcome. Please do not shoulder all he blame for not realising something was amiss, I can speak for myself because I did exactly this. But then we realise we were just living our lives, and moving forward. This is a lovely forum, patient's stories will amaze you, and the relatives even more so. Very supportive and nurturing, which is what we all need from time to time. As many of the forumites have mentioned once you have a plan in place, you can relax more. Do keep in touch.:x::x:


I start chemoradiotherapy tomorrow( capeciteabine) , hopefully followed by a op then more chemo, the plans in place but I've been told it's a gruelling plan and not a overnight fix. I cannot believe I actually am hoping for a major operation it seems a bit crazy. I am however trying to do one thing at a time as looking at the whole picture I find overwhelming, also the fact we won't know if my 5 weeks chemoradiotherapy has worked until 8 weeks time is a real worry too. Thank you so much for all your support its lovely to read everyone's messages, I wish each and every one of you the best of luck on your journey. :x:


Hi@Kitti welcome to the forum. I was diagnosed last year at 36 years and i have found comfort in this forum and I’m sure you will too :x::x:


Hi @kitti
Sorry you find yourself here. You are right though, everyone is lovely and very supportive as we are all in the same boat. I was 35 when diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. Mine started as a polip in my bowel which my oncologist said takes 10 years to turn into cancer!! God knows how long it's been there!! I remember having shooting pains in my bottom when I was 'on' at 18....could it have all started then...who knows. Going over it all in your mind is normal, I think it's part of accepting what's happened and trying to make sense of it all which is very hard. Mine was a rush job in a&e, I felt stunned for a few weeks. I went as an emergency, had a stent then 2 weeks later surgery then 6 weeks later chemo for 6 months. I stepped off that rollercoaster in December after my body scan and now in 'limbo' trying to find the new normal. Im not gonna lie, it's a bit shit but boy do I appriciate life. I find joy in most things and laugh a lot more. I don't get worked up over stuff and I am determined to watch my kids grow up 12 & 9. That is now my ultimate goal.... I couldn't give a shit about anything else. Big Hugs :x: :x:


Hi @kitti bit of a late post as I haven’t been on the forum for a while. But do check in from time to time - hope Capecitabine is being kind..... I’m just up the road in Middlesbrough ... are you at James cook :x::x:


Hi @kitti do join the closed Fb group called Shine for young people with cancer is really good :x::x:

Graham Indo

Hi Kitti

I know that feeling too and it’s horrible.....many many tears for me and I’m a guy ? it’s normal to be afraid confused dejected and angry with everything....I felt all of these feelings throughout.
I am now 9 weeks post surgery and only just starting to feel semi normal......all I can say and it’s easier said than done, is to tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel and you WILL get there.

Good luck and if you have any questions please ask away I just wish I had found this place sooner than I did to ask questions and share my experiences.

Stay strong for those loved ones around you.




Sending you all my love and best wishes. I'm 38 with two small children and I was diagnosed last year. Rectosigmoid so a little higher up than you.... Just finished chemo. This forum is a godsend and has given me so much support. There are quite a few young mums like us on here too. Deep breathes. You WILL get through this. I'm back riding horses again myself :) :x::x::x:


Please don't feel guilty. I didn't have any symptoms.
This journey will play with your mind in so many ways but you will get through it.
Just remind yourself of all the things and people you love.


Hi @kitti, welcome to the forum. Please don't feel guilty, I was diagnosed when I was 44, I have 3 children, and I just qualified to be an accountant! And then this diagnosis.! My world was turn upside down. And thought was end of me! But luckily I found this forum and I have received lots of support here, I don't know where I will be without this forum! You will get through this and we are all here to support you. All the best. :x::x:


This forum is great. Such a comfort to know there are others who know what this feels like. I have received a lot of support already in my short time here. Wishing you all the best @kitti :x: