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Husbands Shock diagnosis

My husband has been treated for haemorrhoids for two months because of pain and rectal bleeding Then he was sent for a CAT scan and yesterday we saw the Consultant who suspects he has at least one tumour in his rectum/ bowel Hes having an MRI Tonight and an exploratory exam unger GA on the 22nd of Feb I feel like a grenade has gone off in my head and dont know what to do....


Hi @KatieR so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband was diagnosed in August 2017 and I felt exactly the same as you - terrified, sick and completely bewildered. However once a plan was in place, it calmed down and we have learnt to deal with things as they happen and have settled into a new normal. We still have blips but it does get better and I have been amazed at how well everyone on this forum, patients and relatives, cope. It is a great place to draw strength from.
Sending you my best wishes :x::x::x:


Hello @KatieR good advice by everyone, I was in same situation 18 months ago. When treatment comes things become clearer. The journey isn’t easy but use the site for advice and support. Positive thoughts flying your way. :x::x:


I thank you all for your advice and support ....does bipping the heart logo acknowledge and thank the replier


Hi @KatieR Do you know I’m not sure about clicking on the heart icon but have done so. I’ll click on your heart above and you can let me know?



It's just horrible!! It's so scary and you are completely frozen by the fear. Bless you, it will get easier. :x:


@KatieR , welcome and sorry you have had to join us , it’s an awful time , and it really gets me cross that so many people are having to join us after being misdiagnosed!!!!!
We are here for you no question or worry is silly , we have all been there !!!!
Good luck
Much love
Tracey :x::x::x:


Well the MRI didn’t happen because he had a head injury and brain operation in 2010 and nobody knows if there are any metal clips in his brain ...You would think they would have some sort of metal detector that they can check with So we have to wait for a phone call on monday ........


Weve been for MRI today Obviously no nearer knowing whats going on ...
Instead of a Valentine in the post we got a PIP Assesment Appointment
I knew before John read it to me that it was for the same day as his Operation !
So I had to ring the number for PIP Explain that He had been told he has a suspicious growth in his bowel that the specialist is very sure it is ‘ cancer’ and his Operation was on the same day ...
.Not one word from the woman not an ‘ oh dear ‘ Or ‘ Im sorry about that ‘ Which would be a Normal Human response from a human being. ? ?
She just said She could reschedule the appointment But Only One Reschedule is Allowed Ever ............I was so angry I could not speak I wrote down the new appointment date and time Hung up and cried What is happening to the bastard benefits system ????


@KatieR , don’t get me started!!!
Geoff’s 68 But was still working full time , diagnosed April hasn’t worked for 9 months!! Can’t get statutory sick pay because over 65!!! ( lucky enough to be able to have had 6 months from his employer) and because I earn over £900 a month ( by £100) not entitled to any form of help , we have never claimed a penny in our lives! And apart from any thing it just makes you feel like shite!!!! Really hope today gets some good news soon
Much love


Hello@KatieR, welcome and sorry to hear about your husband. Hopr the investogation goes well and you have dome good news :x::x:


The PIP went ok .....Pleasant woman asked us a load of mundane questions .....whether she notes down what we said or makes it up to get her bonus is something we will find out in due course
John had his EUA Sigmoidoscopy and biopsies done on Thursday morning and now we have to wait two weeks for the results .....Two weeks I want to know Now ......., I cant function ......I feel like a zombie .....Im so tired but I cant sleep ......I plan to have a duvet day today ...and some chocolate. !


We got a call from Specialist Nurse to go for a PET Scan on the 7th March at Preston Hospital
Same nurse rang us this evening with the result
We had begged her to let us know as our Consultant is off sick and I couldnt face waiting all weekend
Anyway it appears that Johns tumour is more rectal than Anal ..and he has a node in his groin which is cancerous
She says we will be seen next thursday and When pressed for her opinion she thinks he will have / need a Defunctioning Stoma an operation to remove the node and then some sort of chemo - radiotherapy So its officially official now and we have a week to wait before a plan can be made
I have asked her to try and discuss Johns results with Mr Mitchell when he gets back in case he can squash us in to see him before Thursday because now we know whats what I feel we need to get on with getting the “beast from the south” nuked as soon as possible
We are not sure what a defunctioning stoma is but I assume it will give his bum a rest and allow his radiatiotherapy to work ?
So he is hammering things in his workshop and Im about to commence my wine therapy . . .


Hi @Katie , oh bless it’s horrible when it’s All official , my husbands was rectal , we were initially told he wouldn’t need an illeostomy then boom they told us pre op it was probable he would, my husband was mortified, and never excepted the fact , that said I have no doubt in my mind they wouldn’t suggest it unless it was for the best , We had no problems with Geoff’s stoma and now knowing how delicate our bowels are I know that’s it’s best to give them time to recover properly before putting them back to work!!!
Geoff’s was reversed 6 months later under a day surgery at a local hospital, our stoma nurses were great and supportive and also said if they were in our position they would definitely choose to have a stoma to enhance recovery, so good luck with your appointment and keep us updated
Much love


Sorry to hear of the confirmation of your hubbys disgnosis @KatieR .

It’s a horrible gut wrenching feeling isn’t it? Everything seems to move too slowly at first as you try get through each day. The time should make no difference and it’s important that all the information is gathered so that the best plan can be made for the next steps.

What shines through is your positivity and sense of humour.....all so important for you both! Hammering things in the workshop and wine therapy made me smile!

Sending you both all my love and very best wishes to you both!



I keep pressing the little heart box to thank you all for your replies and support If the box is for something else you need to let me know. !
Thanks Anyway :x:


Hiya @KatieR and a big warm welcome from me too..... sorry you find yourself here, but it really is the bestest place for support and information.

A couple of bits of information, not sure if it useful or not - Just wanted to say that I had 5 weeks of radiochemo at the Rosemere cancer centre in Preston. ( 2 PET scans too). Such a lovely building isn't it, and with great staff. The weeks passed fairly quickly, even though, as I live further north, it often took up to 2 hours travel each way.

Also my Macmillan financial adviser was amazing. She filled in my PIP form for me, and completed a disabled blue badge form too. Supplied it back to me with sticky notes saying which bits needed my signature, and what photocopies I needed to include. I know different people have had different experiences of Macmillan nurses, but for me they have been invaluable. They said they are there to help any members of the family if they need help too.

I realise you probably haven't had the treatment plan or anything yet, and when you do it really does get easier. I was on a curative path, moved over to palliative now. However these are just words..... have now got a 'palliative care team' based in my community and have found them very helpful too.

I too have a workshop and find burning (pyrography) and banging bits of wood an expressive outlet!
My lovely oncologist also tells me that positivity and a sense of humour really do well done you 🌻

Love to you both :x::x::x:


@KatieR , I also press heart button have no idea what it does ❤️❤️
Lots of love love


Thank you all for your reassuring replies
( I would like to ask a new question—should I start a new thread
You mods can edit and move this if needs be )
We are seeing the Specialist on Thursday
I know he will explain everything to us
But ...
What questions should we ask
What questions do you wish you had asked
Thanks in advance
Cath ❣️
Ps What are the stars after my name above ‘relative’
Pps I would like relative replaced with wife or partner ??


Hi @KatieR. You probably should start a new thread as you will get more responses that way. You can either start one in the topic Just Diagnosed or Life with Bowel cancer.

The stars above your name has something to do with how many times you post or how active you are on the forum but to be honest I am not entirely sure. I have asked the office for a proper answer.

Finally we use the word Relative as it is generic and covers all possibilities I guess. There are friends, brothers, niece, uncle, mum, dad, partner, cousin and so on and so forth. At the moment there is not an option to chose but I will flag your concerns and put forward the idea as the forum is constantly updating and changing.

Hope that helps a bit.

Tiffany :x::x:


Thanks @Tiffany I was thinking of starting a new thread
I am getting to grips with the abbreviations too