When bowel cancer returns

Kate M

feeling scared - could do with a bit of TLC

Have just posted re PET scan Monday. Now feeling really scared as I have recently experienced pain/discomfort over liver area and am remembering the doubts over my CT/MRI scans last November when they first told me my liver lesions were mets and then told me they were benign. Strongly suspect they were mets all along and 6 months have been wasted. Feel a bit of a whimp writing this when so many of you are so brave but just need to say how I feel. KateM :x::x:

jeangenie

You are not a wimp. You are just honest! We all have these feelings, it's very understandable.
Very good luck on Monday :x::x:

Baxter2

Hi @Kate M

You're definitely not a wimp at all! Please feel free to post on here about anything anytime. its a huge big rollercoaster of emotions this cancer malarkey!

The wait for Monday's PET scan will be horrible and then probably worse, the wait for results!! It's never ending isn't it! You know the drill though.....lots of busyness and distractions as possible and remember worrying changes absolutely nothing, but ruins the potential to have happiness in your day!

Have a big long squishy TLC special hug from me and try to enjoy the lovely weather. I'll be thinking of you!

Loads of love,

Karen 💛💜💚💙❤️

Gypsy

Dear @Kate M
I am just sending big hugs for all that you are understandably feeling. Remember though that the mind is such a powerful thing (for good or ill) and the liver area discomfort could just be wind/gripes and not caused by liver mets. Remember those pre-cancer days when you, me, all of us would occasionally have gut gripes and they were nothing more than something we had eaten disagreeing with us or trapped wind and we never gave it a thought and we certainly didn't think cancer (well, I didn't, anyway). Sometimes those pains/discomforts could be quite bad but we were able to deal with it without anxiety. So what I'm getting at is please try and try not to allow your mind to play havoc with you.
I'll be thinking of you on Monday for your PET scan and more importantly, for the results.
In 2012, when I had my first routine annual check up CT scan, I was like you, waiting 5 weeks for results. I kept phoning up and the results were never 'in' so like you, I thought that no news was good news but it wasn't. On the other hand, I found out afterwards that they had been discussing me big time and that there had been a plan- it is just that nobody told me about it. It was horrible when they did start calling and that was me back in the loop but you know, I'm still glad that I had that 5 weeks thinking no news was good news as it was tough afterwards when I did find out.
I had a met in my lung and one in my liver found in 2012. I've been fine since completing treatment. As our lovely Karen says, there is lots that can be done and it's even better now than it was in 2012! We don't want it but if needs be, we do it.
You do some really nice. distracting things this weekend and continue to do so for whatever the time period is that you are waiting for results. That's my advice anyway. It does you good and far better than worrying which can't change anything and just makes you feel rubbish.
More hugsxxxxxxxx

KatieR

We have all lost hours of sleep @Kate M Worrying ...What iffing ...Imagining ...Stressing ....making imaginary lists ... practicing questions to ask....etc etc
If worrying made anything better we would all be fixed wouldn’t we ?
But worrying does not fix anything it just robs us of sleep...
We decided very early on in our journey that we would not worry
We trust our Specialists
They know what they are doing
They do it every day
We are allowed to be scared thats the blessing of this community
We talk to each other We ask questions We have a rant
We care about each other We want to help you
Plenty of hugs on here
Cath :x::x:

Kate M

Thank you@jeangenie @Baxter2 @KatieR and anyone else who reads this - you are all so supportive and lovely. Such wise words about worrying just spoiling the day - too true. I am focusing on being outside, seeing my lovely 3 year old grandson and doing nice things. Love you all. KateMxx

Baxter2

Atta girl @Kate M You've got this!!

Grandchildren are such a tonic! (As are children! ) Hope you're having a good weekend!

K❤️💙💚💜💛

george1960

Your not a wimp you have worries and concerns just like us all. It's good sometimes to get if off your chest that's what this and other sites are for. Good luck :x::x:

DianeS

You are absolutely not a whimp @Kate M and please never be afraid to post about anything you feel or need an answer too. Best of luck with your scan today, fingers crossed the results are good news. Love D :x::x:

mem

This is NEVER an easy time @Kate M and you are the complete opposite of a wimp. Will be thinking of you today and hoping for some good results for you 🤞🏻. :x::x:

Kate M

PET scan results show hot and warm spots in my liver and small nodules in my lung. I am to have keyhole surgery on 24 July to determine what the warm spots are. If benign, they will do a liver resection, if not then it will be inoperable and I will be referred back to chemo. So sad things have progressed so far in such a short space of time but am determined to keep on doing the things I enjoy while I can. Hmmm - does watching tonight's footie come under the heading of enjoy?? So sad we lost after such a great effort. Well done England!! Kate :x::x:

DianeS

Hi @Kate M we will all be keeping everything crossed for your keyhole surgery on 24th. Really hope all goes well, and those pesky modules are all benign. We were gutted that England didn’t get through, but thought the match showed future promise for young players. Very best of luck Diane :x::x::x::x:

Sparrow

Hey @Kate M, I'm sorry to hear your PET scan results. Good luck with the key hole surgery ... Thinking of you and sending love and hugs :x::x::x:

Gypsy

Thinking of you today and sending healing thoughts .
Love and hugs for what you have been through.
:x::x::x::x::x::x:

Kate M

Thanks @sweetcheeks @Sparrow and @Gypsy Unfortunately not great news. My liver is on the small side and the wee beasties are too many. So, if they operated to remove them, I wouldn't have enough liver left. So back to chemo. Had some lovely hugs from some of the other ladies I met in the hospital. People can be so kind even when they have problems of their own. Kate M :x::x:

Gypsy

Hugs and love to you @Kate M .I hope that the chemo goes well and please let us all know how you are.:x::x::x::x::x::x::x::x::x::x::x::x::x::x::x:

GD62

Hi @Kate M

Really sorry to read your post and it's perfectly natural to worry, like you had half my liver removed and awaiting my six monthly post op scan results after adjuvant chemotherapy. That said, I've made the most of life kept going to work in my two jobs, planned holidays and tried to live like I was in good health. Luckily the weather has been lovely, enjoyed work and looking forward to a couple of breaks.

All I can say is I get some breakthrough dread moments but the majority has been placing my worry in a sin bin and thinking whatever it is I will cross that bridge but until then carry on regardless.

Positive healing to you and all :x:

Kate M

Thanks @GD62. and anyone else who reads this. I agree with you with regard to crossing bridges when you come to them. That is what I have tried to do and it seems to work for me too. No point in being alive unless you can enjoy it . Kate Mxx