Stage 4 bowel cancer


Given days to live

I’ll try keep this as short and to the point as I can, my wife who is just 26 years old was diagnosed just about a month ago now with stage 4 bowel cancer which is sigmoid primary and has been confirmed to have spread to her liver, hips, peritoneum, ovaries & spine.

She’s had one cycle of capecitabine which we were told today has had no effect on the cancer therefore she won’t be offered any further treatment as they feel having any more chemo won’t help and could just make her unwell.

I’ve already had to do a lot of fighting this past month to get her the care, treatment and tests she’s had so far and now to be told she won’t be offered anything more, basically saying she’s just gonna be left to let the cancer kill her in what they believe to be just days, just doesn’t make sense to me.

To do nothing and accept this is not an option for me, we have 2 kids together so I have to do anything I can for her, for their sake. I’ve already got a referral to the Royal Marsden and have an appointment on Wednesday which I’m gonna see if they’ll see us sooner in light of this news, but want to also explore the private option, at least for an opinion if nothing else. My thoughts are to go to the Christie clinic but was wondering what others may suggest as other options? We are currently at Basingstoke which I know is a specialist in this kind of cancer, but our oncologist, in my mind gave up on my wife right at the beginning.

david watt

@Clumpysnake so sorry 🙏 and sad 😔. Cancer is a horrific cruel disease. There seems to be an alarming rise in young mothers developing colon cancer. This seems to be happening in both UK and USA. My guess something to do with hormones, weakened immune system, diet during pregnancy is causing this. Perhaps bruising from the movement of the baby is causing inflammation of the colon. But I am not a doctor, just another stage 4 colon cancer patient. Best wishes for the future David

Bear G

Hi @Clumpysnake
I’m so sorry your news and the sad loss of Kirstie.
Please take heart in the fact younand her medical team did everything that was possible.
As some of the others have said please try to remember all the fun and laughter you shared.
My sincere condolences


I’m so so sorry @Clumpysnake
There are some good children support services out there - your GP can refer to local hospice. Some will do lovely craft / animal based activities as well as counselling. No doubt for you as well. There’s also some closed FB groups for recently widowed dads PM me I can add you to them, one lost his wife only last week. I’m so sorry and you’re prob not ready for what I’ve written there but when you are, let me know if can help point you direction some support. So sorry Helen :x::x:


@Clumpysnake I am so very sorry to read this today - sending you love and thinking of you and your children. I haven’t been on here much lately but have just read your posts and your love for Kirstie shines through - I hope that the love you shared will give you comfort along with the sadness and tears. She will live on in your children, hold them close, Jane :x::x::x:


Dear @Clumpysnake , there are no words sufficient but I was truly sorry and sad to read your news, sending my thoughts to you and your family, Sarah :x::x:


@Clumpysnake ...I’m heartbroken for you, be kind to yourself as you go on your new journey. Wrap those children up with love and know your precious girl lives on in them .i just don’t know what to say ,sending lots of love 💕 xxkaren


So very sorry to read this @Clumpysnake my thoughts are with you and your children - Ron :x:


Im really sad to read this @Clumpysnake , hold your children close forever... I wish for you all the strength in the world to cope with the coming days , weeks and months ahead... Deb :x:



Dear Johnny

My thoughts & love are with you & your children ......I’m really lost for words to comfort you ......but you will be in my thoughts & I send strength for the coming days, weeks months & years ahead

Love Ellen :x:


Dear Jonny @Clumpysnake, my deepest sympathies & heartfelt condolences on the tragic loss of your beloved Kirstie. I am thinking of you & ur children @ this terrible time & sending my love, warmest hugs & strength. :x::x::x:


Oh @Clumpysnake , I’m so sad to read this. God bless you.:x::x::x:


Dear @Clumpysnake , I’m so so sorry to hear this dreadful news.
Thinking of you and your children. Love :x::x:


@Clumpysnake. Dear Jonny . Sincere condolences to you and your family . My
thoughts are with you at this very sad time :x::x::x:


I was devastated to read your news @Clumpysnake . It seems so wrong that you had too little time to say goodbye. Sending love and strength to you and your children and also to Kirstie's family.


So so sorry to hear that Kirstie has passed away. Much love to you and your family. Such devastating news and so unfair, love Diane :x:


So sorry to hear this news @Clumpysnake. It must be extremely hard to go from the diagnosis to this in a short space of time. Thinking of you, the children and Kirsties family at this difficult time. Love Bridget :x:


@Clumpysnake...I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any magic words...hold your children close, the essence of Kirstie is within them 😢😢😢 :x::x::x:


Such a tragic situation., wish there was something I could do or say to help you. Sorry for your loss

springer michelle

So so soery to read rhis. God bless Kirstie, and you and your children xxd


So sorry for your loss my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family sending hugs :x: