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Relatives and friends

bubbaboo

Losing patience - family members weight loss

Afternoon all,
My dad was diagnosed with cancer over a year ago, with mets to lung & liver.
He did 12 cycles of folfox with panitumabab (however it’s spelt). He then had a break, start again, infection & a break.
He’s lost so much weight & he actually doesn’t seem fussed by it. He’s hardly eating, and had an awful lot of muscle wastage.
It’s so sad to say, but I’m actually losing patience & becoming rather angry about it.
Does anyone have any recommendations on what I can do to try to make him see sense & what I can buy him in order to build him up fast.
My hero is disappearing in front of my eyes more every day :x::x:

Jaap

When my mother was on folfox (and folfiri) her taste went. She still tried to eat as much as she could, but the appetite wasn't there and she lost possibly a stone over the 12 cycles. I could also see her arms wasting away.
Luckily the good response from folfox allowed her a 9 month break from chemo and she has put on about a stone and a half. She looks a picture of health, although the cancer in her liver has now grown again.
I see chemo breaks as a form of treatment in itself, as they give the body a chance to recover.
How long has your father had a break from folfox @bubbaboo?

bubbaboo

Hi @Jaap - he’s only had 3 out of a 4 week break. As he was admitted to hospital with an infection. He just won’t eat... is there anything that she has found good for weight gain?

Tiffany

@bubbaboo

I feel your pain. It was so hard for my husband to eat when he was on FolFox as he said everything tasted metallic and he could not tolerate spicing at all. I tried to hard to feed him but found he could only eat for a few days of the cycle and even then did not have a big appetite.

I know many people on here have spoken of high calorie protein drinks that I believe you can get on prescription.

Here are a couple of links that may help you:

bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/...ifestyle%20Guide%2016.8.17_LR.pdf

www.cancerresearchuk.org/...ing-on-weight/high-calorie-drinks

bubbaboo

@Tiffany thank you - he has them on prescription but doesn’t take them either. He says he hasn’t given up, I just don’t know what more we can do

Tiffany

@bubbaboo

Have you considered a support group or some private therapy sessions for him? Perhaps someone neutral can get through to him. You obviously can't force feed him and he is entitled to his own choices in life. Really hard one - do feel for you :x::x::x:

Jaap

Hi @bubbaboo. My dad used to make my mother breakfast, lunch and dinner without fail. Smaller portions. There was no specific weight gaining food. When I was at home I gave her snacks such as chocolate bars and crisps.
My mother knew she had to eat the food no matter how poor it tasted, otherwise where would she get the energy to try to be still active in some shape or form.

Gypsy

Hi @bubbaboo . I'm so sorry about your Dad's weight loss. Do you think he would discuss it with the GP- just going on his own? He would be able to get a GP appointment quite quickly. If there is a Maggies near you, would he go there and speak to someone? I don't know, just suggestions.:x:

GROBER

If he's been prescribed something like Ensure has he tried the ENSURE COMPACT version = same calories but 1/2 the volume to swallow AND made much more "palatable " served straight from the fridge* -- try different flavours- some are better than others!
* same fridge tip applies to the normal Ensure.

GWA1974

Hi...sorry I don't have any words of wisdom but just wanted to let you know I feel your sadness and frustration. My Dad and hero was diagnosed in June after an emergency op to remove a tumour from his bowel. He's had 6 rounds of chemo and is currently at the end of a 4 week chemo break. At the start we were desperate for him to eat and I also couldn't understand his reluctance. We have now learnt not to pressure him and celebrate the small amounts of food he does eat when he feels like it.
It is absolutely devastating to see someone you love disappearing in front of your eyes. My Dad in June was slightly overweight and didn't look 66 years old. In just under 6 months he has lost so much weight we can see his bones and looks about 88 😢😢😢
I'm so sorry that someone else is experiencing the devastation cancer causes...it gives me no comfort at all to know someone knows how I feel.
I send you love and strength :x::x::x::x::x::x:

bubbaboo

Hi all
Thank you so much for your messages. My dad won’t let the doctor or even his own brother visit. Only his immediate family.... he’s eaten today which is a good thing. I can’t describe the daily emotional pain and sadness I feel everyday, but I feel safe wjth this forum as you know how I feel :x::x: