Share your experiences and help shape the services we offer in the future. Click here to take part in our survey today.

Life with bowel cancer

lujabuck

A moan and a wobble.....

I have been holding it together so well. And today I feel like it's all unravelling. It's been 6 months of treatment, operations is in 15 days. Today several things have added up to a serious wobble.
I have had to admit I won't be back at work for at least 6 months.
I've had to hand over some voluntary responsibilities which I love.
Both these things can carry in without me, which makes me pleased and gutted all at once.
I am arranging childcare and calling in favours all over the show.
My Consultant has put a question mark on the way forward I was given last week by other consultant and mentioned "this is an unusual case" which threw me as I thought I was fairly standard.
I have also been mourning my fertility.
Bleurgh.
Rubbish day.
Sorry....just needed to splurge. I know it's ok to fall apart but it doesn't feel nice.
Right...Off to eat dinner and splurge on the hubster and count my blessings....probably with wine!

george1960

Splurge as much as you like bravo :x:

cyclingjohnny

enjoy the wine, all the best. xxx john

Spanner

Enjoy the wine, cheers.

Jomo9

I’ve been in your situation for the last couple of weeks so totally empathize. I hate not being able to work as I actually love my job. My employer has got someone in to cover part of my job but couldn’t find anyone to take over my position, which I was secretly happy about! Unfortunately I also had to give up some voluntary roles 3-4 months before my diagnosis as I was feeling very tired but just thought I was working too hard! Enjoy the wine, you deserve it! :x::x:

lola14

Hi there, I also found it hard to pass my job to someone else and could actually tell by her face she wasn't interested. I've had to switch off from work and put myself first, so please do the same. My mop up treatment starts tomorrow and I'm bricking it, what a wimp I am after what I've already faced head on. Take care. Linda

Lirio345

Good morning @lujabuck, you are absolutely entitled to ‘splurge’ as you say; I was recently informed of research that shows it is better for our immune systems to let go every now and then .... stiff upper lips are not such a good idea then.

The whole issue of the impact of a cancer diagnosis on someone’s career and professional persona, whether it is temporary or permanent has come up before but is a very neglected aspect of care. It is really good that @Bear G has touched upon it in his video, as it can have such a detrimental effect on our well being. I guess what I am saying is that your feelings are totally understandable.

If you haven’t done so already, seeking some additional counselling support from your GP or a Maggie’s Centre, if you have one nearby, could really help, as it has for many of us on here.

Take very good care, Kim :x::x:

Clancy

@lujabuck, this cancer takes so much from us, namely, good health, choice, freedom, careers, and relationships that have been formed through work. No wonder you had a major wobble, you are perfectly entitled to. Sending hugs.:x::x:

lujabuck

Thanks everyone. Better day today. Cutting myself some slack and just getting a bit prepared for surgery (which includes arranging lots of fun times out and about and full of energy in the next two weeks....as well as the more dull leaflet reading and hospital bag packing)

Globerry

@lugabuck wishing you all the best for your operation. I was similar to you one minute working in a job I loved nursing with all the camaraderie.I found letting go of work quite daunting! At this point there is so much for you to think about we have all had wobbles on this journey# take little steps :x::x:

GD62

Hi @lujabuck abuck hope all goes well with procedure..... you have every right to a wobble.

hugs :x: