Share your experiences and help shape the services we offer in the future. Click here to take part in our survey today.

General Discussion

Daisy1

A year ago today, at about this exact time....

......we found out my husband had rectal cancer.

I wondered if any of you think about your diagnosis on the day that you were told and how it makes you feel?

I’ve been keeping busy with the housework, have still thought about it a lot but I’m not sure how I feel?

I know my hubby is thinking about it as he mentioned it via text this morning. I guess I’m just curious as to how you feel on the dreaded day that you were told? :x:

Stumpit

Hello @Daisy1 my OH was diagnosed 3 years ago on the 10th jan (although it was a couple of weeks later we discovered it was in is liver too) I thought about it a lot yesterday of all the changes to our lives and all the treatments he has had to have and still having . We have accepted that this is life now as he is on 4 cycles of treatment then scan as long as he can tolerate it . I guess I feel sad at the life we once had is gone but I sometimes feel like I’m is someone else’s story my OH by the way didn’t even recognise the day till I mentioned it

Sarah44

Yes I think about it every year and how it was the biggest shock we have had. I particular remember going with my 10 year old daughter to pick him up from the Colonoscopy completely oblivious that it may be cancer- assumed it was Piles. Those dreaded words....’The Doctor wants to see u..extensive tumour.....options limited...’ 5 years on and he has defied the odds so on the anniversary of his diagnosis I am grateful he is still with us although tinged with sadness and ‘why him’ :x::x:

Daisy1

It’s crazy isn’t it, I can’t remember things from yesterday but I remember, literally, absolutely everything from once I was called to go back into that little side room. Even down to what clothes we were both wearing (incidentally, I can’t wear them anymore).

@Stumpit I’m sorry you had to think about it all yesterday and also that your OH has it in his liver. I guess that date will always be with you too, though I’m glad your OH didn’t realise until you’d mentioned! That makes me hope that further down the line mine may let it slip his mind :) This truly is an absolutley horrendous disease. I hope that the treatments he’s having are working well for him and he continues to tolerate it :x::x:

@Sarah44 You’re right about the shock! I think that I felt pretty much the same as you, in that it would be just piles. Both yourself and @Stumpit have really been through it, massively with your OH’s and I’m not surprised if you think ‘why him’ along with a little sadness. I’m not really religious but I hope and pray that things continue to go well with treatment for everyone who is going through this :x::x:

Lizalou

Weirdly calm!
With hindsight I was still half sedated and not taking anything in. I wish I could have gone back a day or 2 later to ask sensible questions instead of having to wait 4 weeks.
I constantly assumed that things had been caught early and I was pleased to have a few weeks off work which I was hating. It was weeks later when I finally realised how serious things were (stage 3, fine now)

Sending hugs @Daisy1 :x:

Daisy1

Thank you @Lizalou xx
I’m so glad that things are fine for you now. My OH wasn’t sedated yet I know how, when asked if we had questions, he asked a couple but we were both a bit dumbstruck so I can only imagine how much more difficult it must’ve been for you having had the sedation. That 4 weeks must have seemed like a lifetime for you!

Dan-888

I was stunned, lost for words (which apparently is quite unusual), for what felt like minutes in front of the CNS.
"Finally, this is it. End of the road. Time to cash my chips in."
After I realised those close to me will be ok, and I haven't had too bad a life, I suddenly realised I was ok to go.

But since I didn't, @Daisy1 , I think I'd only noticed the anniversary of my diagnosis for the first 3 years or so.
I was more focused on the anniversary of my op which seems to be the milestone used for various statistics.

Bear G

Hi @Daisy1

I celebrate each year as a milestone achieved, this is often done as a meal with friends but last year for my fifth anniversary I had a big party.

So rather than focusing on the shock of the diagnosis etc I focus on what I’ve come through and what I’ve achieved since then

Big hugs
Bear
:x::x:

Baxter2

Hi @Daisy1

I'll never forget the day I was told and the way in which it was said! I was still in hospital following a Right hemicolectomy and it was the day after my birthday.

One of the consultant surgeons, a loud Greek guy, came swanning into the 4 bedded bay saying in a loud voice as he walked towards me, 'So, it looks like we're dealing with a cancer then' ! I was quite speechless, then broke down sobbing uncontrollably in front of everyone. It was horrible. Fortunately, one of the other patients spoke to the ward nurses who arranged for a much more tactful consultant to come and speak with me afterwards. I don't dwell on it but I'll never forget it!

Karen💚💛💜💙❤️

Dan-888

oh my goodness, @Baxter2 !
That was truly terrible!
Can't abide obnoxious personalities like that!
So good of you to be able to get over it!

sweetcheeks

Absolutely do , re lived the moment, remembered how sinple our lives were that morning when Geoff went for his routine colonoscopy!!!
Lots of love :x::x::x::x:

sweetcheeks

@Bear G ... what a fab way to look at it !!!🥳🥳 :x::x::x:

KatieR

Our present journey finished last week almost exactly a year since it started
2018 was the worst year of our lives . . .
But it also reaffirmed that there are so many wonderful compassionate caring people in the world
Our Surgeon Oncologist Plastic Surgeon Specialist Nurses Ward Staff Phlebotomists ete etc and the staff of the Rosemere Cafe who cheered up every visit with proper coffee toast crumpets and buttered teacakes lovely sandwiches and cookies
They all made our journey a million times easier than we ever thought it could be
The most amazing people are the strangers who shared our journey on here who became our family
Cath :x::x:

bettebette

The night before I was taken to hospital my grandson was born, so although I haven’t forgotten that day I focus on my beautiful little boy and celebrate his life - and his second birthday coming up soon 😊😍

Daisy1

@Dan-888 I’m hoping we’re the same in that it’ll only be for the first few years. Our oncologist seems to go by the op date for various things too so that makes sense.

I hadn’t thought of it like that @Bear G . Totally a much better way of looking at it! I love that you had a party for your 5th too. I think we may steal that idea once we get to the 5th anniversary 😃

@Baxter2 OMG! How absolutely horrendous for you... I’m so glad you are able to get over it but no, it’s not something you’ll ever forget I’m sure. Wow, I just can’t believe how awful that must’ve been for you :x::x:

I definitely felt the same as you @sweetcheeks - thought it would be a quick in and out like mine always are and that we’d be home in no time having a coffee. If only!

@KatieR although like you 2018 was the worst year of our lives it sounds as though you had a Much better food experience! 😃

How wonderful that you have something so precious to celebrate @bettebette, focusing on your little baby grandson and his up coming birthday ❤️❤️ I hope you have a fabulous day of celebration :x::x:

Thanks everyone for your replies, it is good to see how you all reflect in different ways. I reckon next year We’ll be taking a leaf out of @Bear G ‘s book and celebrate how far we’ve come 😃 :x::x:

Baxter2

@Dan-888 and @Daisy1

Fortunately that was a one off! The consultant who spoke with me afterwards and my own consultant surgeon made up for it as both were great. My surgeon had THE very best bedside manner.......the exact opposite of the Greek guy!! Then I met my first Oncologist......and that's another story!!!

Best wishes

Karen💛💜💚💙❤️

Dan-888

:) Karen @Baxter2 !
Still, I think we owe that Greek person a learning and improvement opportunity to give him feedback, via the right channels.
But especially his future patients!

Baxter2

Hi @Dan-888

You're 100% correct of course but at the time and for a considerable period afterwards, things went from bad to worse in terms of my cancer and the Oncologist I was assigned to. I have much greater concerns regarding her practice and manner. Highlighting this as a learning and improvement opportunity is still my intention as my impression from anecdotal evidence is that nothing has changed.

Sending loads of good wishes your way Dan!

Karen💛💜💚💙❤️