Just diagnosed

lego_chap

what a crap year so far

went for a colonoscopy and after much poking around and prodding etc, got the news that there is an abnormal area seen in the sigmoid colon..

Feeling very numb and emotinal now, trying to make sense of it all.
Its affecting my sleep, I am so stressed at work I have been making silly mistakes , which when spoken about makes me feel worse.

CT scan this week and then a couple of weeks later appointment at the clinic.

Loads of worries as I have been with the firm for less than a year that if I am off for 6 weeks no sick pay and have a mortgage etc..

Its been a shit year and this has capped it off

any advice

bettebette

Good to hear your news @lego_chap 😊
Best wishes for a continuing good recovery.

Lizalou

A great update @lego_chap , I bet you feel so much better tucked up in your own bed!

Yes, it's amazing what we can do, when we have no choice. I still remember my middle of the night hysterics and the kindness of the nurse who brought me chocolate icecream!

And, like you, my surgeon visited me on his day off....we are so lucky to have such caring professionals.

Onward and upward..... :x::x:

determinedjoan

V well done 👍 u @lego_chap !
Congratulations! Proud of u !
Wish u a full & steady recovery; b kind to urself. Take care, love 💗, hugs 🤗 & healing vibes :x:

cyclingjohnny

fantastic post, hope you are enjoying being home with your family,wishing you a speedy recovery, all the best, john. :x::x:

jj

What a positive post @lego_chap . You have come through that barrier and we all can see you are stronger and positive now. Now take it easy and enjoy spending time with young daughter.
Yes I think most of us have had positive experiences with the NHS even when things didn’t go to plan. I have to say the NHS National Screening for Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm and for Bowel Cancer has saved my husband, and both his surgeon’s have been very very supportive. Yes his CRC surgeon visited my husband everyday and on the weekend too, even if it was just to say hi and check his results. 3cheers for our NHS, Hip hip hooray👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

lego_chap

Three weeks down the line..

Jesus mother of mary and the staple extraction was .. how you say OUCHY.. it took 5 local injections and gas and air to get the dam things out .. I almost punched one of the nurses as I have never felt pain like it .. so 24 staples out and i still have nightmares over the noise through the fog of gas and air as they snapped .. never again

So the results on the tumour ( 7 cm) , and the resulting 53 lymph nodes removed , Im down for chemo, oncology appointment on the 7th..thats the next step , i did try to get info on chemo but the surgeon says each person reacts differently .. so not sure what to expect.

There is one nagging thought, as a person who's brain never shuts off, how does one get through the fear of .. it could come back ? I am focusing on the future, but some days i hit that wall and I get that thought running around my head .. I know i have gone through " brutal surgery ( surgeons words not mine) " but those who have been on this road how did you deal with it? or was it more a I'll deal with it again if it turns up ?

Oh as I'm bloody impatient did everyone wait the 6 weeks before you started driving again .. and i need to start running too ..

Sasa

Hi @lego_chap , in answer to your question, I guess everyone muddles through really, but I know my hubby deals with it by thinking that we are all going to die, but that he has been ‘put on notice’ whereas those without cancer haven’t. Then it is just a matter of coming to terms with the possibility of life not mapping out the way he expected, coupled with the lack of time to do the things he always expected to be doing. If that makes sense.... so the dieing bit has been discarded as we all need to face this inevitability.

Hope that helps a bit, and makes sense!

You will become more accepting of your new direction in life though as time passes. 🙂

Sarah :x:

greyhound gal

Hi @lego_chap, sounds like your staple removal wasn’t without issues!! Mine didn’t hurt. I’m sure they like to remove them normally at 2 weeks cos they’ll be a bit more embedded otherwise! And maybe more painful?

Unless your surgeon and insurance company are happy with it, I would say you shouldn’t drive for at least the first 6 weeks. I even went to 8 weeks. You need to be able to do an emergency stop without the worry of damaging/ripping open your wound. Don’t forget there’s lots of layers that have to knit together (lots and lots of layers with my tummy, lol)

And the fear? I’m sure it’ll always be there, it’s only been 6 months, but I’m determined to not let it stop me in my tracks! I’m going to take on board the many great snippets of advice on this forum. I’ve ‘liked’ lots of hints from @Gypsy. @Bear G, and there’s a whole thread which @cdnico started asking “how do people cope...” which is worth a look at👍

Onwards and upwards, Wendy :x::x:

Baxter2

Hi @lego_chap

Delighted to read your post and see you're now 3 weeks on from surgery! Yes, the staple removal is pretty nippy.....I remember that well!

There's probably no easy answer to the question of fear of recurrence. We all have different ways of coping (or not!) I guess? I struggled enormously when my cancer metastasised and I'm not ashamed to admit I really did hit rock bottom and had just about completely given up. The stern words of a close friend was the turning point for me.

Personally, I've found mindfulness and meditation pretty useful, 1:1 counselling at Maggies centre and anti-depressants. Other ways to help me cope are seeing good friends and the ongoing support of family/friends is absolutely invaluable as is the support of those also affected by bowel cancer either on the forum and Fb groups. I've recently attended my third residential course run by Penny Brohn (cancer charity) which is absolutely invaluable too. (Check it out online) So I guess from all of the above, I have utilised many strategies to help along the way. Some may be worth trying and others not.

Sending loads of love as you continue with your recovery

Karen💛💜💚💙❤️

lego_chap

So.. chemo .. its sucks big time, nausea .. wtf.. and I have so far had two cycles and after both I have been back into hospital each week for either more anti nausea juice, my temp hit 39.2 so more fix me juice , I feel like a bloody pin cushion.

I got to the stage where I said enough was enough , what with all the other stuff going on, it was like at every turn I was getting kicked up the arse.. So the girls at the Macmillan unit had a chat , proffering a plethora of tissues, and we decided on a work around , Picc Line , which is in, a drop in the percentage of chemo, no more pills , but I have a pump to take home, plus more importantly the "chat " with the girls did the trick, plus I have a small person and she is the light of my life so I HAVE to keep going.

So yeah I still feel like crap some days, I have had and still having counselling , but its nice to know that there are always options on your treatment .. so my advice .. talk and share your fears ..

On the flip side I tried and failed to kill myself this morning , as I did my first Park Run .. fuck it was hot and Hilly ..not the fastest of times but its done .. plus I wore my bowel cancer running vest.. It didn't pull the chicks , and I looked like shit after the run.. but so what ..

Gypsy

Well done @lego_chap for completing that run and for sharing this. You can only keep on going and trying, can't you and hats off to you!:x:

Lizalou

I'm amazed @lego_chap ....a Park Run! Well done for ploughing on.

It's great that you have come up with a manageable plan and that you are getting all the support that you need. I hope you find a routine where you have at least some good days every cycle to do the things you love.

And tell us more about your 'small person'..she sounds inspiring.

lego_chap

@Lizalou.. My small person is the reason for not giving up, I did come close, very close , but then I thought that as a late to the party dad ( first child at 53) that I was being selfish, and that chemo is a better way to kill off anything that was missed , and that it could mean I could live long and be a grumpy twat and see my loverly soon to be six yr old daughter blossom into the apple of my eye.. plus I can remind her at every opportunity that she owes me when she comes begging for sweets or a pony or the latest Manchester City strip.. but when you take that second to look at the priceless person who I have fathered and I love so much.. how could I give up on the treatment ?

So today should have been a pop in bloods , picc clean and jobs a fish...oh no FFs .. ooooh Mr Jon your vein looks swollen, have you any pain? err yes a bit .. hmmmm says nursey .. better get a second opinion.. 2nd nursey.. oooooooh yeah swollen.. off to ambulatory care for you and you might have a blood clot.. and guess what.. injections etc..NO FRICKEN WAY nursey.. you said picc line = no more bastard needles ... errrrr sorry jonny boy .. poss 3 months of blood thinning shit .. YOU ARE HAVING A GIRAFFE NURSEY .. and Liar Liar your nurses uniform is on fire with your no more needles guff..!!! Lies all Lies I tell you !!!!

So off to ambulatory care.. "Oh Hello Jonny boy you back again?" err no Im a twin ..ffs ..

So a prod and poke and a plethora of questions .. and my favourite .." are you allergic to anything " YES NURSEY... NEEDLES .. GET THE POINT .."

So a session with Dr Ultrasound.. who thought it was fun to KY me right up and the shit was everywhere .. talk about no fucks given. not even an offer of a
nano cm of kitchen roll to clean up , I slid back to AEC rather than walked ..

so false alarm.. and so cycle 3 in the morning.. what delights will they find to subject me to this time.. a possibility of some unheard of tropical disease , a trail of a new and improve d bastard needle delivery system .. I can't wait ..

Ah well Im still alive and a cheeky 5k 25:58 on the treadmill and a celebratory jelly baby and a soft beige mug of tea...

Gosh is that the time ..

Gypsy

It must be so hard if you have a needle phobia with cancer. So much does seem to be delivered through needle and cannula. I hope it all comes right for you. :x:

sunnysideup

I am well impressed @lego_chap you did a park run, whilst under going chemo, I totally take my hat off to you. I think that’s what my hubby will be hoping to do along with some light gym work, but we will see. Hubby has meeting with oncologist on monday to discuss 6 month chemo, so feeling might apprehensive, but reading posts like yours, and others, really does help and encourage everyone on this shitty rollercoaster ride. :x::x:

Baxter2

I'm sorry but I did have a wee chuckle at your last comment @lego_chap 😂😂😂 Im so glad you didn't need to get your head around 3 months of daily self administered injections! Honestly, they're really not that bad at all and easy to do!

Hope,all goes well for cycle 3! Very impressed with the park run btw! Well done you!

Best wishes

Karen 💜💚💙❤️💛

lego_chap

Well ..that ride was a blast..

So lets re cap

Wife left me September
Diagnosed with cancer March
house sale during most of my treatment
chemo.. that sucked
house move Sept
Move almost finished me off
divorced
single dad
Oh had a birthday 59
City won a hat load of trophies

And Im still alive .. 5 yrs to go,

Tea anyone ?

daughter is a pain in the arse :)

SariDaffs

On the plus side ... You have a small person, you have managed some park runs while going through chemo (can only get better), you have kept a great sense of humour ... Made me smile after my own pretty bad two years ... best wishes :x::x:

SariDaffs

@lego_chap, see above (forgot the @ thing)

mops

@lego_chap I know where you are coming from!! The cancer journey is tough enough but when throw in the other "stressful life events" it's almost hard to believe it's really happening! You seem to have a great sense of humour in spite of it all 😂:x: