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Belle

So Scared

Hello everyone, my 44 year old husband was diagnosed with bowel cancer on 2nd November after a colonoscopy due to low blood count. He has had no symptoms apart from fatigue and anemia.
Today he has had an operation a left helimcolectomy to remove tumour.
The surgeon came 2 see us this morning an told us his mri scan on Thursday showed he has a tumour on his liver an this will be another operation.
We have 5 kids, I am scared stiff, can anyone who has been in this situation give me some positive thoughts please

Thanks Elizabeth

Lirio345

Hello @Belle, welcome to the forum, but of course I am really sorry to hear about your husband.

You are in shock at the moment which is totally understandable but just to say that I am one of many people on here who were diagnosed with liver mets a number of years ago. Some of of us are on permanent chemo and some are just being monitored regularly to check that they are still in remission. We are all very different and our treatment reflects this.

Please do not google statistics as they are are inaccurate and out of date. Ask anything at all, - the folk on here are warm, supportive and knowledgeable.

Take very good care, Kim :x::x:

Gypsy

Dear @Belle (and @charleyb ). I'm so sorry that this has happened to your lovely husband- what a shoock it must have been. But it is truly great that he is already through the bowel surgery and I'm sure he will make a good recovery and that is the next step now. It's brilliant that they have indicated another operation to remove a single secondary liver tumour- is that correct?
There are other people on here who have had liver mets at diagnosis and I'm sure that they will see this and post for you and also, sadly, others who are young like you and your husband.
I had a single liver met (and a single one in one lung as well) a year after bowel surgery but these both could have been there at diagnosis, just too small to be seen at that stage. I had them both taken out in quick succession and then 6 months of chemotherapy. My treatment finished in the Spring of 2013 and I've been free of cancer since then.
Remember that you need help and support for yourself too. You will get that on here but be kind to yourself and if you need help, then that is available for you too.This is very hard for you.
Sending love and hugs and simply bags of hope. Gypsyxxxx

El Ivan

Hi @Belle I’ve been in that position at the age of 48, I’m now 54 (don’t look it though) 😬. It’s great news that they are already saying another operation for the liver. After my bowel operation, the MRI showed up 4 rather large mets in the liver. An awful lot of treatment and skill by the medical people have managed to get me to 6 years since diagnosis and I’m not planning on going anywhere soon for that matter.
I’ve had a few operations and chemo but at the moment I’m 22 months since any cancer was evident. Keep on keeping on and best of luck to you all. Ivan x😃

Belle

Thank you everyone, I'm not sure about single secondary liver tumour??
At diagnosis on 2nd November surgeon said there was a tumour in bowel an something beside it and something on the liver and then this morning he said there was a tumour on the liver, no other detail I think we will probably be called back 2 the hospital in a couple of weeks 2 discuss the tumour on the bowel so hopefully we will find out more about tumour on the liver, at that 1st meeting they did say he wud be starting chemo in 4 til 6 weeks

Gypsy

Hi @Belle, I think just concentrate on getting him over this surgery right now. I hope that he will be able to come home soon and then rest and recuperate and eat well as that all helps.
It will become easier as time goes on and good that there is a plan in place. :x::x::x::x:

Belle
Quote from @Gypsy:
Hi @Belle, I think just concentrate on getting him over this surgery right now. I hope that he will be able to come home soon and then rest and recuperate and eat well as that all helps.
It will become easier as time goes on and good that there is a plan in place.

Thanks @Gypsy where would I find what he should be eating?

Lizalou

Hi @Belle

What a dreadful shock for you both. I hope the operation went as well as possible and that you are now just concentrating on recovery.
When I was recovering, I had a visit from a hospital dietician with advice for easily digested food, so ask if that advice is available in your area. In general, go easy on high fibre foods until you have worked out what can be tolerated.

How old are your youngsters! You must be exhausted with trying to keep them calm and happy .....it is tougher for the carer than the patient sometimes so I hope you have some support.

Sending best wishes to you both

Ash_1976

Hi @Belle - Sorry for your husbands diagnosis. I was in a similar situation (my story is in my bio) with no symptoms, and then a Stage 4 diagnosis and I know about the mental demons. I didn't want to know much when I was diagnosed, but my wife found this forum helpful, comforting and terrifying in equal parts!!
My advice is to (try) and stay positive as best you can - I had a section of bowel removed, an Ileostomy, 6months of Chemo and THEN they found the Liver met. I had that removed and I've had clear scans for a year - Its a long road with lots of ups and downs. keep positive and fight it hard. Best wishes - Ash

charleyb

Hi @Belle and thanks for the tag @Gypsy !! Yep we have been where you are!! My hubby diagnosed at 39 with rectal tumour and a solitary lung met, all successfully removed and he had 12 cycles of chemo. We had 16 months clear which was amazing and then a solitary liver met this July, again successfully removed and once again he is in remission. Have a look at my profile for our journey, if you click on my name you will see it. You have definitely come to the right place, an amazing forum full of help, advice and a virtual hug if ever you need one!! By the way hats off to you with 5 kids!! i have 2 and thats a handful.......but actually i`m one of 6, and my sister has 6 so i am very used to a BIG family!! Make sure you have lots of support at home, not only helping you with the kids and house work etc... but also there to give you a glass of wine and a cuddle.....make sure you ask your friends and family as you really will need it esp when he is home and potentially may have to have chemo and more surgery.
In terms of him eating now hopefully his team are on it, did he have to have a stoma? i would take advice from the hospital but typically low residue is best, so white and stodgy, and once he feels well enough get up moving. But for now rest! this is a big op!!
If you need a chat or want to off load send me a message.....i remember this initial bit all too well and it is scary as anything!!! One day at a time is the best......don`t try and figure too much out just yet, your team are all over this and beavering away in the background making plans and sorting everything. Please take care of you too, i know how hard this is on you also :x::x::x::x:

Belle
Quote from @Lizalou:
Hi @Belle

What a dreadful shock for you both. I hope the operation went as well as possible and that you are now just concentrating on recovery.
When I was recovering, I had a visit from a hospital dietician with advice for easily digested food, so ask if that advice is available in your area. In general, go easy on high fibre foods until you have worked out what can be tolerated.

How old are your youngsters! You must be exhausted with trying to keep them calm and happy .....it is tougher for the carer than the patient sometimes so I hope you have some support.

Sending best wishes to you both

Thank you @Lizalou they are 17,16,13,10 and 6, two of their birthdays coming up so hopefully their daddy will be home and feeling abit stronger 4 then :x:

Belle
Quote from @charleyb:
Hi @Belle and thanks for the tag @Gypsy !! Yep we have been where you are!! My hubby diagnosed at 39 with rectal tumour and a solitary lung met, all successfully removed and he had 12 cycles of chemo. We had 16 months clear which was amazing and then a solitary liver met this July, again successfully removed and once again he is in remission. Have a look at my profile for our journey, if you click on my name you will see it. You have definitely come to the right place, an amazing forum full of help, advice and a virtual hug if ever you need one!! By the way hats off to you with 5 kids!! i have 2 and thats a handful.......but actually i`m one of 6, and my sister has 6 so i am very used to a BIG family!! Make sure you have lots of support at home, not only helping you with the kids and house work etc... but also there to give you a glass of wine and a cuddle.....make sure you ask your friends and family as you really will need it esp when he is home and potentially may have to have chemo and more surgery.
In terms of him eating now hopefully his team are on it, did he have to have a stoma? i would take advice from the hospital but typically low residue is best, so white and stodgy, and once he feels well enough get up moving. But for now rest! this is a big op!!
If you need a chat or want to off load send me a message.....i remember this initial bit all too well and it is scary as anything!!! One day at a time is the best......don`t try and figure too much out just yet, your team are all over this and beavering away in the background making plans and sorting everything. Please take care of you too, i know how hard this is on you also

Thanks @charleyb no he didn't get a stoma :x:

Belle
Quote from @Ash_1976:
Hi @Belle - Sorry for your husbands diagnosis. I was in a similar situation (my story is in my bio) with no symptoms, and then a Stage 4 diagnosis and I know about the mental demons. I didn't want to know much when I was diagnosed, but my wife found this forum helpful, comforting and terrifying in equal parts!!
My advice is to (try) and stay positive as best you can - I had a section of bowel removed, an Ileostomy, 6months of Chemo and THEN they found the Liver met. I had that removed and I've had clear scans for a year - Its a long road with lots of ups and downs. keep positive and fight it hard. Best wishes - Ash

Thanks @Ash_1976 I've just read your story it's exactly what I needed, best wishes to you and your wife

Catt79

Hi @Belle I'm 40 and have had two bowel tumours and two small ones on my liver.
All have been completely removed with surgery. I had six months of chemo to shrink the liver ones before surgery and to reduce the risk of them coming back. I was told last month that there is no longer any cancer and fingers crossed that will remain so.
I have two sons aged 8&11 and they have coped much better than I hoped. We did need help from family and friends for childcare, especially during chemo, but found that most people are more than happy to help out and hopefully you will find the same.
In terms of recovery from surgery, I'm not sure if your husband had open or keyhole surgery. I've had both 😁 and the keyhole I was actually back at work after six weeks (it was too soon emotionally though and I really struggled). The open bowel surgery took longer to recover from and was a harder recovery. After three months I was pretty much back to normal and able to have liver surgery. That was open too and I had 64% of my liver removed but recovery was actually easier than the bowel one- it's exactly two months today since I had it and I am fully back to normal, doing school run and everything else. I was driving after three weeks!
I hope your husband recovers quickly from his bowel op and that you get some clarification from your doctor soon about his upcoming liver op and chemo so you can get cracking with the next treatment.
Lots of love, Cat

mem

Hi @Belle, just checking in to see how you are both doing today? How is your husband’s recovery going?
Love to you both :x::x:

Belle
Quote from @Catt79:
Hi @Belle I'm 40 and have had two bowel tumours and two small ones on my liver.
All have been completely removed with surgery. I had six months of chemo to shrink the liver ones before surgery and to reduce the risk of them coming back. I was told last month that there is no longer any cancer and fingers crossed that will remain so.
I have two sons aged 8&11 and they have coped much better than I hoped. We did need help from family and friends for childcare, especially during chemo, but found that most people are more than happy to help out and hopefully you will find the same.
In terms of recovery from surgery, I'm not sure if your husband had open or keyhole surgery. I've had both 😁 and the keyhole I was actually back at work after six weeks (it was too soon emotionally though and I really struggled). The open bowel surgery took longer to recover from and was a harder recovery. After three months I was pretty much back to normal and able to have liver surgery. That was open too and I had 64% of my liver removed but recovery was actually easier than the bowel one- it's exactly two months today since I had it and I am fully back to normal, doing school run and everything else. I was driving after three weeks!
I hope your husband recovers quickly from his bowel op and that you get some clarification from your doctor soon about his upcoming liver op and chemo so you can get cracking with the next treatment.
Lots of love, Cat

Thanks @Catt79 this is very reassuring, he has had open surgery, best wishes to you X

Quote from @mem:
Hi @Belle, just checking in to see how you are both doing today? How is your husband’s recovery going?
Love to you both

Belle

Hi @mem
He is still in the recovery ward, so I can't get in2 see him until 2night but he has told me he is sitting out in a chair. The physio has been with him. He is in good form.
I am honestly still in shock but trying 2 not let my mind jump ahead of itself

Gypsy

You are doing really well @Belle and so is your lovely husband by the sounds of things. Yes, a step at a time- that really is the best way. :x::x::x::x::x::x::x:

mem

I agree @Belle, you are doing really well. It’s totally understandable that you are still in shock. A cancer diagnosis is a huge shock. I do think, like you’ve said, trying not to jump to far ahead is the best way. Just concentrate on the here and now and It will get easier to deal with, I promise.
I’m glad to hear your Husband is now sat in a chair, that’s already really good progress. Slowly but surely he will get there and you will have him home. Bet you can’t wait to see him this evening?!
Take care of you too and love again to you both :x::x:

charleyb

Gosh sat up in the chair sounds really great! All my husbands surgeries have been open, and whilst really scary (honestly the wound when you see it is quite scary) he has healed amazingly well, and mostly they are thin scars now. Really the best thing is not think too far ahead at the moment, all of this is such a massive shock, for weeks and probably months i woke up and just thought it must of been a bad dream and it couldn`t be happening to us. Cancer is frightening and not many understand what it is like unless you are going through it. But I promise as you get more info and it all sinks in it will become clearer. Big hugs :x::x::x:

Belle

Thank you everyone 4 all ur lovely words I honestly really appreciate them :x::x: