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sabr

I can’t believe I have cancer

I have been on this forum for two years with blood in my stool, I’m 31 years old. Today the saw a cancerous polyp around 30mm in my rectum. All I did was cry today. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to leave my baby and husband. I don’t want to leave my family. I have never been so scared. They have given me an mri appointment 3 weeks later. I’m scared it will spread. They’re doing everything so late. I’m an absolute mess. They kept saying hemorrhoids and never refereed me.

Dawn52

Hi @sabr Great news that it hasn't spread, that is always the fear at the beginning for everyone. Hopefully you'll soon have a plan of action. I'm impatiently waiting for my radiotherapy to start, just want to crack on now :x::x:

Jane39

@sabr
Very pleased to hear your news.
I hope that you hear soon about the plan for you.
Best Wishes
Jane :x::x::x::x:

sabr

Oh @Gypsy I really hope and pray that’s the case. Super sacred about what they will find when they do it and histology reports. :x::x:

@Dawn52 I get what you mean, you just want to get on with treatment. The waiting is just horrible. I still don’t know a plan of action, the colorectal nurse said she needs to talk to another consultant or something, I’m not calling today but I will be calling tomorrow. Or should I call today ? Don’t know :x::x:

@Jane39 thank you, I hope to hear soon, I have actually been waiting years. :x::x:

louise28

hi @sabr so glad that there was no spread and hope you get your op soon :x::x::x:

stevejl

Hi @sabr just adding my best wishes, making progress at last.
Take care
Sending love & hugs
Steve
:x::x::x::x:

Forum user

hi @sabr firstly great news that there is no spread,you will soon have news in regards to your op and you will feel so much more in control, wishing you all the best take care cheers john.:x::x::x:

Nintendoh
Quote from @sabr:
Hi @Nintendoh I have honestly been in the darkest of the places these past two weeks. Thank you so much for your well wishes and comment.

The not knowing and being stuck in limbo is the worst. I first posted on the forum when I was 29 well before I was pregnant and to be told they found something made floored me cause they kept saying you’re too young !!! I have literally been telling anyone that has blood in their stool to go for a colonoscopy. I hope your partner is doing well ??

I hear you. You (all of you) are terribly brave. I have only witnessed 2nd hand the angst and worry you all go through with the just waiting.
As others have said, and as I have seen from my partner... the more information you get, the more you can get your head around a plan.
My partner went from literally not able to get out of bed or see our daughter, to this whole new Warrior, a determined and 'not backing down' attitude, walking our daughter up and down the mountain we live on to school each day. ... a total transformation.

I guess you've had that massive relief now, knowing it has not spread... and each time you get more information, more dates, more treatment plans.... I am sure that worry will lessen.

The hardest part, as people are saying, is that limbo waiting on the big scans etc.

Well done, keep posting and keep us all updated. Everyone is holding you in our thoughts :)

Molly2me

Hi @sabr so very very pleased for you and thank you for sharing :x::x: @Tricia2 it’s horrendous and you don’t realise how awful until your waiting. I hope you have news soon, take care :x::x::x:

sabr

So I’m a little petrified, I just called up the nurse and apparently I’m on a waiting list to see this one surgeon who is the only one that can do the polyp removal. I could be waiting more than a month. I’m so scared isn’t waiting gonna make things worse. What should I do.

Gypsy

Dear @sabr, I honestly was told that a wait of a few weeks makes no difference. It does vary but quite often, bowel cancer is slow growing and it can take years for a polyp to become a tumour. I think it is good that yours is still classed as a polyp although that probably isn't much comfort to you right now. I honestly don't think that they would knowingly put you at risk now that they know you have something that needs to be dealt with. One thing that you could do is let it be known that you are willing to go in at a moment's notice for any surgical cancellation slot. Of course there might not be one but sometimes there is and that would be grand if the person who fills it is you. The waiting is agony for you which I totally appreciate and it is not easy to challenge all the fear. But I do think that they will be very well aware of you as a young Mum whom they need to help asap so that you can get on with your life with your family. Huge hugs and love to you, Cathxxxx

sabr

Hi @Gypsy I will let them know I’m readily available. It’s just that they wrote cancer found on my report so I am presuming that’s what they think it’s already turned to and me waiting another month will literally drive me crazy. I will talk to the colorectal nurse again. One of the colorectal nurse is just so lovely and then there’s another one who literally is just blunt. :x::x:

Nintendoh

Hi @sabr

It can't be easy at all, having to wait and then wait some more. Try and keep your days busy (I am sure you already do, with a little one!). But maybe plan things the day before, so you don't have any 'idle time'.... basically just try and distract yourself.

The other piece of 'advice' I might suggest... and this somehow seemed to work for us... was to ask the nurses what the NHS guidelines are in terms of how long from suspected cancer to treatment... then ask where you are on that timeline.

For us, once I had that (very polite) conversation with them, and got them to say to me out loud that my partner was clearly outside of the guidelines.... everything changed. We got a call back an hour later from a lovely nurse and she got my partner dated (date booked in for surgery) about 6 weeks earlier than we had been told to expect.

I don't know if that is something you would feel comfortable doing, or have someone do on your behalf. Like I say, we did it in a very polite way, but very clear as well.

Also, could it be an option that you go out of your area for this treatment. If there is only one Surgeon that does it locally, can you ask whether there are others, with shorter waiting lists, somewhere else in the country. I don't know if that is an option/ good option, as you'd want your after care locally I presume.

Good luck and don't be put off being a bit pushy with them. Whenever I call in on behalf of my partner I politely ask to speak with the one Nurse who me and my partner like and get on with (bless her). :x: :x: :x:

dawnramsayrae

Hi @sabr I couldn’t quite understand if your polyp will be removed by EMR colonoscopy or as surgery . ( I’m having a flat polyp removed hopefully on Tuesday by a specialist surgeon ) so didn’t know if this applied to you . I also had surgery in March ( higher anterior resection in sigmoid) this was delayed by 5 weeks due to covid so I can understand your fear as I remember feeling the same . I don’t think it made any difference to any growth of the polyp/tumor in my sigmoid . . Take the delay as time to get organised fill the freezer ,perhaps buy some nice loungewear for afterwards etc . :x: I hope the time goes quickly for you :x:

Tricia2
Quote from @sabr:
@Tricia2 hi, oh the wait is absolutely horrible, I felt like locking myself in a room and not getting out. Are both your mri and ct scan next week? Praying time goes quick for you. How was the colonoscopy did they say what they found ?

@sabr hi, yes both scans on Friday and Saturday this week. They didn’t say what they found, just that she didn’t like the look of it. Trying very hard to be positive and look to the future.

sabr

@Nintendoh my little one is surely keeping me busy but this is always at the back of my head. I called the nurse today about a timescale, she said someone from kings should be calling me sometime this week regarding a plan. She is the only nurse I like to talk to, if she’s not in I don’t bother talking to anyone else as they’re quite abrupt. Really hope I hear something soon. :x::x:

sabr
Quote from @Tricia2:
@sabr hi, yes both scans on Friday and Saturday this week. They didn’t say what they found, just that she didn’t like the look of it. Trying very hard to be positive and look to the future.

When did you have your colonoscopy? I feel like I had my ct and mri a week later and then the mdt the following week and now I’m just waiting to hear when they’re going to call me in, it’s all such an agonizing wait. :x:

Tricia2

Yes I had my colonoscopy last Monday. So do you have a plan of treatment? :x:

sabr

@tricia no plan yet. I do need to go in on the 16th of October for another colonoscopy where they assess the polyp again. They will do a ultrasound see how deep it has gone and if there’s cancer, how deep and how much she said to me over the phone. Another 10 days for that. It has been an agonizing month and still have no answers. When do you get your ct and mri results?

bowelbehavingbadly

@sabr Wishing you all the best for Sat. I hope it all goes well. Sandra.