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sabr

Feeling blue

Hi everyone so it’s been a good 5 weeks since my colonoscopy. I had a colonoscopy ultrasound on Saturday again didn’t get much info from there apart from it’s not 3cm it 3.5cm oh great ! And that parts of it didn’t look good so they need to take it out to get the full picture 😖 I am keeping busy with my little one but I am still in the unknown, wondering what they will find will this delay affect it. My mind going to all sorts of scenarios. Waiting for someone to call me for a date for the procedure. Why I’m so nervous and scared, why is it that when I wake up in the middle of the night I find it hard to sleep. This not knowing is excruciatingly hard. People around me are so supportive but no one really knows how this fear feels.

Lirio345

Good morning @sabr, I am so sorry that you are feeling like this, but it is totally understandable, so please don’t bear yourself up for feeling like this.

I don’t think people around you can possibly understand what you are going through, but I wonder if you have thought of getting some emotional support during this horrible waiting time. Macmillan have a system whereby you can talk to someone on the phone, your GP may be able to help or finally organisations such as Penny Brohn are hugely supportive. You can book one to one calls with the Doctor on the latter site; I know this is tricky when you have a little one, but worth organising if you can.

I think I might consider ringing hospital or CNS about once a week to discuss a date, - polite persistence can help.

Take very good care, Kim :x::x::x:

Meg

Aw bless @sabr , the waiting is awful. I remember it well, I didn't sleep well, I was weepy and always on edge.
I am not saying any of that goes away once I had a firm plan in place but it was definitely much more managable :x::x:
I would give it a week from your colonoscopy ultrasound and then give the hospital a ring.
With me they had the date in place when I phoned and were just about to send a letter out.
Hang in there :x::x::x:

bowelbehavingbadly

@sabr My heart goes out to you as I remember those feeling me of panic and fear only to well as we all do. But you are now in the middle of the process so hopefully appt date won’t be too far away. The not knowing what to you are dealing with is the worst time but this will change when your plan is in place. I didn’t think it would but it genuinely does help. Have you organised childcare for when your in hospital. Making small plans like these will give you back some control and ease worries about your surgery and hospital stay. Speak to your GP about your anxiety. She may be able to prescribe something t to take the edge of this. Also the resources @liro345 has mentioned may be worth looking into. I hope you hear something soo. Love Sandra. :x::x::x:

Ali

Good morning @sabr, so sorry you are feeling so blue. Having a diagnosis is a huge shock and as well as having to cope with the physical effects you have the effect on your mental health too which shouldn’t be under estimated. I imagined all sorts of scenarios most of which hopefully won’t happen but I do think it is natural. I do agree with the others that when you have some dates in place and a plan, it does get easier. We are usually in control of our lives to some degree but this snatches it all away. I do hope that you pick up once you have some dates and good luck going forward.

Ali :x::x:

sabr

@Lirio345 thank you for the link I will look into that.
@Meg I keep thinking all sorts, how has life changed so quick. I will be calling them tomorrow to see what they plan to do.
@bowelbehavingbadly I have been meaning to call my gp for my anxiety but I just feel like they’ll
Feel so try for me I don’t know if that makes sense.
@Ali waiting for a appointment for this procedure I’m scared they’re going to take ages.

:x::x::x:

kathyS

@sabr very much understand why you feel like this. Hope that they get in touch soon with the plan. Thinking of you - try to distract yourself by making plans as when I felt like this it helped to focus on mundane planning and even planning a day out at the weekend made a difference for my mental health as the passive waiting is a killer!! :x::x::x: