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Nanny-annie

Another sleepless nite…

Hi, I am a 56 year old female who is currently petrified, I have recently had a positive fit test, I have had a CT scan but was given no results and have a colonoscopy booked for 28/10/21.
Background is I recently went to docs with back ache and pain in my side and blood in stools ..
Since this process has begun I cannot think of anything else, I cannot sleep and constantly feel sick 😷, I live on my own so have no one to talk to, my daughter is the only one aware of ongoing tests and she keeps telling me I will be fine, I am putting on a brave face for her as she has just had my first granddaughter and I don’t want to put any more stress on her…
I keep thinking if I am a mess now what will I be like if I get bad results…
Hoping and praying 🙏 I have the strength to cope with this.

:x::x:

Amanda Sandham

Oh you poor thing :x: this part of the process really is the worst. When you don't have all the information your brain starts to make things up and you spiral into doom. It seems like a long time to wait until you get your results but it will take time for your team to gather all the bits of information. Once this has happened and they've had a meeting to decide the best course of action, things will move very quickly. When you have a plan things start to feel more settled and you can see hope again. Try to keep in mind that even if you get a diagnosis of bowel cancer, the treatment is excellent and many people make a complete recovery and most incurable bowel cancer can be contained and kept under control.
Your daughter is trying to reassure you but maybe that's not what you need right now. Use this forum to vent your frustration and anger, share your fears, cry and ask for help. People here really do understand what you're going through at the moment and can give you the support and advice that you need to get through this awful time.
Sending you love and hugs :x::x:

Lirio345

Good morning @Nanny-annie and a very warm welcome to the forum. I have nothing really to add to the advice offered by Amanda above, but wanted to reinforce that this is a very difficult part as you wait for clarification. Please take care and stay in touch, Kim :x::x:

Siona

Hello @Nanny-annie we definitely understand what you’re going through. The wait is the worst part, it will get easier when you get the results of your CT scan and your colonoscopy and just to say, it might not be related to bowel cancer. If it is we’ll all be here to support you and as Amanda said it is still very much curable.
In the meantime, anything to keep you busy will help to put your mind of it (I know, not easy!), Something you like doing and won’t add added stress. Let us know how it goes. Lots of love :x::x:

Nanny-annie

Thank you Amanda, lirio 345 and Sonia, I know my mind is working overtime and I need to try and get a little bit of strength back in case I need it in the future.
I think today I will go for a long walk and have a really stern chat with myself lol.
:x::x:

Siona

Walks in nature are the best @Nanny-annie :x::x:

Jane39

Another warm welcome @Nanny-annie
It is so difficult waiting for investigations and results and keeping busy with distractions is needed but we can all understand how you are feeling right now.

I hope you have a positive outcome from the CT and colonoscopy. Take care in the meantime. Jane :x::x:

Lucy118

@Nanny-annie, so sorry you are feeling so anxious. As others have said it is the worst time waiting for results. The long walk should hopefully help - I always find it does for me. Try and keep yourself busy too. Lots of love :x::x::x:

bowelbehavingbadly

@Nanny-annie just want to tell you about a friend of mine who went to GP recently with all the classic symptoms like those you describe. She was told they would investigate for possible bowel cancer. She went to pieces and spent many times on the phone to me convinced she was going to die. She was crying all the time and couldn’t cope. She got diazepam from go to cope with stress. It did help.

Two weeks later she had colonoscopy and had three non cancerous polyps removed and her mental well-being restored.

I hope you have similar outcome. Try to hang onto that until you are told any different. Wishing you the best. Sandra. :x::x:

MysticLooRoll

@Nanny-annie. For me, this was the hardest part. Not knowing. Once I had a diagnosis and the treatment plan was agreed, I felt more in control. I like feeling in control and am so used to being busy all the time, so having BC really knocked me sideways. For weeks I couldn’t focus properly as the shadow of it all kept hovering over me.

What has helped me is taking control of things I can do now to make things better. Cooking food in batches or stocking up on things that are easy to eat, so when my energy levels are low, I can just grab something and not worry. I also find writing stuff down, talking to people I trust, and going out for walks all help. I listen to podcasts (No Such Thing as a Fish is good - full of facts and things you may find interesting. I always feel like I learn something on my walks if I have a podcast on).

Be kind to yourself. This is not an easy time. Sleep when you can, and know that you are not alone. :x:

Forum user

Hi @Nanny-annie and sorry that you find yourself here, there is no one on here that doesn't identify with the fear and anxiety you are feeling at the moment, but as Sandra has said above the outcome of this could be completely different than what you are thinking, if not BC is curable and treatable, wishing you all the best take care cheers John :x::x::x:

Baxter2

Hello @Nanny-annie and welcome to the forum.I'm sure you'll find this a friendly and supportive community.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this position and of the worry you feel right now causing another sleepless night. At present, the only fact known is a positive fit test. That can be caused by a number of reasons and not just Bowel cancer. If I were you, I'd try to focus on that as much as possible until you know otherwise. Keeping busy and distracted is the only way to get through each day when your mind is in overdrive. It's so difficult having tests and investigations and yet not knowing what, if anything, you're dealing with. Most of us can relate to that. I hope you don't have too much longer to wait until you get some definitive answers. We're all here for one another.

Sending lots of love your way,

Karen 💚💜💛❤️💙

Nanny-annie

Hi all and thank you for all the positive replies - I managed to sleep for a few hours last nite as all my blood test came back normal (apart from cholesterol) so that has eased my mind greatly.
I am just taking one day at a time until Thursday and trying to keep mind busy - long walk yesterday really helped clear my head.

Take care :x::x: