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Hi everyone, i have been reading in the background for over a month now. My 41 year old husband is going through a cancer diagnosis currently but it hasn’t been straight forward. His first symptoms were fatigue and he vomited a lot on two separate occasions in February and March so he went straight to the GP who suspected bowel obstruction and did a i urgent referral for colonoscopy. He waited 4 weeks and when he was seen three weeks a go. Apart from a small polyp the doctor told us that he felt the issue was outside the bowel and he felt a growth was pushing on the colon. A biopsY wasn’t take because there was nothing showing within the colon. Subsequent CT, MRI and PET scans have perplexed doctors but yesterday we were told it looks like bowel cancer on the right side with a secondary between the rectum and bladder. The plan now is a pre op on Wednesday for a biopsy and explorative surgery. My husband has pain and fatigue. Waiting has been absolutely horrendous and the wait continues. I know his case is far from ordinary, we have had to use personal contacts for a second opinion on the scans to get here. We know that it will be a really rough journey. Has anyone had a similar story to his? Desperately looking for comfort in the darkness.


Hi Gwen- I’m so sorry to hear your story and the anguish you have endured. My journey was somewhat different so I cannot offer any specifics, apart from going through checks and diagnosis at a similar age (39). I did however want to offer one ‘comfort’. After my diagnosis, the team moved quickly to develop a plan and I then felt much better in being able to focus on the plan and next steps. You and your husband are probably in one of the toughest periods just now, with lots of anxious waiting and uncertainty. If your husband is diagnosed with cancer, hopefully the team should then move much more quickly on his treatment plan. Until then, my advice is to try and keep your minds busy (appreciating it may be difficult for your husband to be physically active if he is fatigued). Try and find things that you enjoy to keep you occupied. In my case, it was watching old comedies on TV and YouTube that made me laugh and focus on something else, even if just for a short period. It helped calm me down somewhat. Wishing you and your husband all the very best and hope you have some answers soon. Paul


@WelshWife I'm sorry you have found yourself as part of this forum but also pleased that you found it. My husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer just over 12 months ago. He started getting symptoms just after we moved in January. He was diagnosed in March after colonoscopy, CT and pet scans. I remember that the waiting for a treatment plan and all the unknown was absolutely torturous. Since diagnosis he has had 5 weeks of Chemoradiation, surgery and 3 months of chemotherapy. It has been incredibly tough at times but we have found our new normal. Please reach out any time and feel free to message me directly. The best advice I can give is make sure you build your support network and reach out to people around you. My husband is doing pretty well, he is waiting for a reversal and his review scans. Take care :x::x:


Thank you both for your kind words. The not knowing is absolutely horrible. I really hope after a biopsy things will start to move quickly. We live in rural Wales and wonder if his care will get moved over to Liverpool. I am so grateful for this forum. We will keep busy in the meantime and just hope the op and biopsy are quick. :x::x:


Hi @WelshWife, a very warm welcome to the forum although I am sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. I am also sorry that it has been a tricky diagnosis experience. I am sure you will find lots of support and knowledge on here, so please stay in touch and ask any questions that you want to, large or small. Take care, Kim :x::x:


Thank you Kim :x::x::x:



I am so sorry that you have had to find us on here but as the others have said you have come to the right place.

Your story reminded me of when my hubby was first diagnosed in June 2015. The diagnosis took ages and there was a lot of going back and forth for a while not knowing if it was cancer or something else. Eventually my hubby was also told it looked like Bowel Cancer but no primary was found. He did end up having treatment for Bowel Cancer which luckily worked for him initially and he has been battling with the disease ever since. You can click on my name to read bio.

However what I wanted to say to you is that eventually we did discover that the primary was in his appendix (which apparently is very rare) and hard to detect. Just something to think about?

It is a very surreal at first but does become your "new normal" and once treatment is in place you will find things become a bit easier. Good for you that you are getting a second opinion - it can't hurt and also very good to have all the information lined up for the future even if you don't need it.

I'm thinking of you both and know that I am here to chat if you ever need to ask anything or just have a cry or vent. You can pm me :x:

Lots of love, Tiffany :x:


Thank you so much Tiffiny, I will mention this when we meet the doctor as it sounds very similar and Bows cancer is near the appendix. I am very hopeful we get a date for surgery on Wednesday ❤️


Update on my Bow my lovely husband, the date for surgery is the 24th of May. He has pre op tomorrow . There are a few options for surgery, he is having either a right hemi, some sort of bypass or just biopsies depending on what they find. We both feel better knowing that something is happening now, although not having a diagnosis is so tough!! Hopefully it won’t be long before we get the results and have a treatment plan. I can’t tell you all how reassuring your words have been. I have bought everything from the list on here for him to take in to hospital with him. Thank you all.


Best wishes to your husband with his surgery, Jane :x::x:


@WelshWife all the best for the surgery and hope that it will all go well :x::x::x:


Thank you :x::x::x::x:


Dear Gwen...have just read all of the replies to your message...so pleased that at last there is a plan and action, I also live in mid Wales wondering where you are ?!I was dx with rectal cancer 9 years ago and had treatment in Ysbyty Glan Clwyd and Bangor... it was first class ... hope all goes well..thinking of you :x:


Bethesda, so far he has been to Bangor and they have been great, its just been a really tricky road. Hopefully we will have answers soon. Thank you so much for saying that. :x::x::x:


Hello @WelshWife I’m so sorry that you find yourself here. I completely know how you’re feeling right now. We had the shock of diagnosis September 2016, my husband was fit and well and we just could not believe it. Good luck with your husband’s surgery on 24th, I will be thinking of you 🙏:x::x:


Thank you Elaine :x::x::x: