Just diagnosed

If you've recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer, our website has lots of information to help you understand more and get the support you need.

claresummer

I feel so bitter

Since being diagnosed almost 6weeks ago and waiting to start treatment I just feel so bitter towards EVERYONE! People enjoying themselves, days out, nights out, moaning about going to work, anything and everything is annoying me and making me feel so bitter! I don’t care what people are up to I don’t want to hear about it!! I know that makes me sound awful and I don’t want to be the person I am turning in to 😢

youngatheart

Sorry to hear this, think of it this way, all those people out there enjoying themselves, may have similar problems and are just trying to make the most of things. I understand it's hard to feel positive, I am in the waiting stage, but think to myself, if I do have it, I have to keep motivated and make the most of what time I have left, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and have no time at all. I could have years to make memories and be with those I love.

It's hard on family and friends around you, they don't understand, but if you let this get to you, any understanding they do have, will soon wear thin and that would be even harder for you.

Allow yourself to be sad, angry, peed off, but try to think of some positives, however small and start from there. Take care :x::x:

Siona

Don't beat yourself on feeling bitter @claresummer, notice the feelings and let them pass through.
I remember looking at people on the streets and feeling jealous while I was going through treatment. But these are just thoughts. Of course we don't know what people are going through. Focus on yourself and on the people you love and people who love you. Small steps :x::x::x:

Bobs74

I think that's completely understandable in the early days and I struggled too. People here such as @Siona were an amazing support. Those feelings do pass when treatment starts happening and you have that to focus on. It is grieving in a way so think of it like the stages of grief - this is just a stage and it will pass. But don't beat yourself up about those feelings in the meantime as they're completely natural and you have enough to deal with without adding self recrimination to the mix! :x:

xcgb

Claire
I too had some of these feelings.
Particularly as I have looked after myself eaten healthy not smoked little alcohol.
I know many people that haven't done this and seem to be fine!

All you need to remember is that lots of the people you see out and about enjoying themselves have already had medical issues of all-sorts and are just making the most of their life, some have it to come yet
It's a bit like social media you normally only see the good bits!

Mark McC

Hi @claresummer

It’s completely understandable to have these feelings, we all go through it, my worst time for anger, resentment, unfairness, feeling I’d been robbed of something was actually after I finished treatment.

Everyone one is different and it’s ok to have negative feelings and emotions and feel down, just try to not let them dominate. The only thing you can control is what you do, not what other people appear to be up to (because a lot of the time it’s an act), you need to focus on you, your treatment and your recovery.

Be good to yourself and good luck with your treatment.

Liz Blakelands

@claresummer With me the feelings of anger came after the initial disbelief that I had bowel cancer. Your world has been turned on its head and someone is moaning about a broken finger nail!

Don't beat yourself up about feeling angry, you are entitled to be angry, it is a way a dealing with what has happened to you and coming to terms with it. And the anger will pass.

A book I found useful to help me understand and deal with what had happened was 'The reality slap' by Russ Harris

Be kind to yourself, do things that you enjoy and good luck with your treatment.
Big hug
Liz :x::x: