I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer in July 2018. Since then I’ve had two types of chemo x16, immuno x23, right colectomy, emergency ileostomy and been in hospital numerous times with chemo/immuno reactions, I have been falsely told I was negative and falsely told I was positive so had plenty of highs and lows. Today I am NED (after being told the cancer was back in April) and on 39 pills a day. Am awaiting a stoma reversal. As this is a safe space I want to say that seeing DJ every time I open a media website is making me feel suicidal. I am passionate about raising money for charity and supporting the improvement of cancer services, indeed my Nivolumab was not even being trialled when I received it, which might explain all my painful urinary issues! However, DJ showing me how I am going to look when I am sick, or continuously going on about the last thing she is doing before she dies takes no account of the emotional state of hundreds of patients and family who don’t want to visualise it. There is no safe space for us and it’s made me realise that I would rather take charge of my own life.